Because I broke up with my asshole boyfriend, and now I’m stuck sleeping on an air mattress beside a treadmill at my parents’ home. “My family is here. I just felt like it was time to move back home.”
“And what made you apply for this job?”
Because my mother loves to meddle in my life and actually scheduled this interview for me without my knowledge. I don’t even think I want this fucking job. “I have a passion for obstetrics and loved the idea of having a more set schedule. My last job in Portland, I was working twelve-hour night shifts,” I informed her. “Working night shifts occasionally isn’t bad, but after a few years of doing them full time, it really starts to wear on you.”
“All right, Melody,” Betty said. “I’m the type of woman who likes to cut through all of the crap, and seeing as I’ve already interviewed over fifty women for this position in the past week, my patience is starting to wane, and I’d rather just get down to the important shit.”
“Uh…okay.”
“Have you seen the show?”
“What show?”
“The show.”
I looked back and forth, half expecting to see a camera hiding behind her potted plant, and then back to Betty. What in the hell was she talking about? “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The documentary that Dr. Cummings is on.”
“He’s on a documentary?” Now? Cripes. I didn’t want to be on camera.
She tilted her head to the side and scrutinized my expression. “You honestly haven’t seen it?”
“No. I’ve honestly never seen it.” I could feel my eyebrows drawing together to form my what the fuck face, so I tried to fight it. I’d been told it made me look really bitchy.
“Okay. Well, I have a few more interviews scheduled this week, and then we’ll give you a call sometime next week to let you know either way.”
“Oh. Okay. That sounds good to me.”
“Would you like me to give you Dr. Cummings’s phone number in case you have any specific questions about the job?”
“Um…” What? “I’m not sure that would be appropriate… Couldn’t I just contact you?”
Betty smiled and clapped her hands together in excitement. “Oh, thank God!” she exclaimed and hopped up from her chair. She walked toward the front of her desk and pulled me—literally pulled me—out of my chair and into a tight hug.
“Uh?” I mumbled, but she completely ignored my confusion.
Once she was finished embracing me, she let go and held out her hand in my direction.
“Melody, I would like to offer you the job.”
“You’re offering me the job?”
“Yes,” she said with an enthusiastic nod.
“But I was like twenty minutes late for the interview,” I blurted out.
“Yeah, but you have the right experience, and you’re not here to seduce Dr. Cummings.”
My eyes went wide in confusion. Seduce Dr. Cummings? What in the ever-loving fuck?
“So, Melody Marco, is that a yes? Would you like to accept the position?”
Did I really want the position? Probably not.
But did I need money? A thousand times yes. I could only handle having Janet and Bill as roomies for so long.
Was I a little creeped out with how this whole interview process had just gone? Definitely.
But money, Mel. You need money…
I nodded and smiled. “Yes. I would like to accept the position.”
“Fantastic,” she said and shook my hand. “Paul from Human Resources will contact you to discuss benefits and pay and start date,” she informed me and handed me a folder filled to the brim with new-hire information. “He sounds a lot tougher than he actually is, so whatever he offers as your base pay, I’d counter with something at least ten percent higher,” she whispered and winked.
“Uh…okay, thanks.” Was the office manager really giving me tips on how to get more money from the hospital? What in the hell is this place? I thought to myself as I glanced around her office again to make sure there weren’t hidden cameras for some kind of prank show.
But they weren’t there.
And Betty just kept smiling like she’d won the lottery.
“And don’t hesitate to call or email me with any questions that you might have.” Her fingers tapped the folder. “All of my contact information is in that folder.”
As I walked out of Betty’s office, a bit dazed and a lot confused, I couldn’t deny that I’d just experienced the weirdest interview I’d ever attended. I felt like one of the main reasons I’d gotten the job offer was because I hadn’t seen the documentary with Dr. Cummings, and if not having seen the documentary was that important, I only had one question.