Big Dick Energy - Cindi Madsen Page 0,81

at least a shade darker, so I sorta looked like I’d just come out of a tanning bed.

I hope the dude I get paired with is a fan of Jersey Shore.

As my joke sank in, I nearly dropped my lip gloss. Did I want the guy to like my look? Or for it to scare him away?

Seriously, how did my body have enough saltwater left to form tears?

“What are you doing?” I asked my reflection. “Why are you getting all gussied up for some rando when you’re in love with someone else?”

For days I’d assured myself I’d had to end things with Archer, but had I been too brash? Had I blown things out of proportion?

I’d asked similar questions after Ron screwed me over, and I was so sick of ignoring my instincts and my feelings on account of some guy who didn’t do the same for me.

But if I took away my injured pride and examined Archer’s reasoning…

Plus factored in the apology he’d texted and left in a voicemail…

I braced both hands on the sink and closed my eyes. Archer’s face formed in my mind, as it so often did. I rehashed our conversations about our parents and took into account his preoccupation with winning; he’d nearly passed out trying to prove he could handle more whiskey than I could.

While completely misguided and a pinch insulting, his attempt to ensure I got to design the soccer complex was kind of sweet.

Logical or not, I wasn’t quite ready to give up on everything we’d had. I didn’t want him to leave San Diego without saying goodbye.

I didn’t want him to leave San Diego at all.

Panic beat my senses, shouting at me to do something. Archer and I had survived a rocky meeting where I’d been overly harsh, weeks of arguing, and having our compartmentalizing theory shot to hell within days of undertaking it. We’d both gotten over all that.

Didn’t I owe it to the mangled organ in my chest to try harder to communicate my hurt feelings, tell him how much I needed him to believe in me, and see if we couldn’t surmount the odds again?

I charged out of the bathroom door, nearly wrecking into a woman helping her friend walk. She nodded along as the other one proclaimed her love in the way that drunk people were wont to do.

It buoyed my spirits higher; my friends would understand. I didn’t need to ask for their thoughts or permission anymore, and as Cat had pointed out, I did have the best taste in friends.

I weaved around tables like a soccer player with his sights set on the goal, until I finally reached the table. “Hey, I’m so sorry, but I…” The lights in the bar had been dimmed, and I stopped short at the extra person at our table. I strained to see who’d joined our party and taken the seat on the other side of Cat. Short with dark hair, it took her leaning forward for it to click into place. “Izzie? What are you doing here?”

Izzie whistled, the noise so shrill it pierced through the din. Then I was yanked into the seat at Cat’s other side. Ellie scooted her chair up against mine, caging me in.

“Seriously. What the hell’s going—?” A spotlight clicked on and lit up the stage.

Along with Archer and his guitar.

He lifted his hand to his eyebrows and peered out at the audience. Our gazes connected, and my heart turned into a caged bird, chirping and chirping but unable to fly.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to call you up to sing with me this time. I figure I’m in enough hot water as it is.” Vulnerably edged his sheepish grin. “I know I fucked up.” He grimaced. “Oops. Sorry, Izzie. See, this was why I wasn’t sure if you should co—”

“As if I don’t hear worse at school,” Izzie shouted from the other side of Cat. “Just keep going. Get to the groveling already.”

My emotions formed a whirling tornado that gathered speed as I watched the back and forth between him and his sister. Then there was the mere sight of him, and gah—I loved him so much it terrified me.

A clatter filled the air as Archer lifted the microphone from the stand. “Right. Where to even start…” He rubbed at the side of his neck with his free hand as he paced the stage, and whoever was working the spotlight was on about a two second delay when it came to keeping