Big Bad Boys A Romance Collection - Penny Wylder Page 0,82

me too, actually. I almost told her she’s the only girl I want to be with. The scariest part is that I meant it. I don’t know what it is about her that turns me inside out, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I need to. I need to get her out of my head.

Maybe her reluctance had something to do with the way she hesitated before we even started fooling around. I believe her when she says she didn’t come to the beach for sex. Her mind was somewhere else, and I’m guessing it has something to do with whatever—or whoever—caused her to get drunk the other night.

I’m glad she stopped me from going further. When I’m with her, I want to be the only one she’s thinking about.

My phone chirps. I look down at the screen and see a text from Emily, one of my favorites. She’s cute and blond with a rockin’ little body. She’s always up for anything. No kink is off limits. She’s a good time and never expects anything more from me than I’m willing to give, unlike some of the other girls. She never asks questions or tries to get to know me. She’s just the distraction I need. Maybe if I’m with other women, I’ll forget about Cadie and I can finally be rid of this hold she has over me.

Emily: You up for some fun?

I glance down at my rock-hard cock stretching my shorts.

Me: Definitely

Emily greets me at the door wearing a tight red dress. She’s a divorcée out living her life, sexy as hell. She reaches up to cup my face in her hands. I step back from her, a reflex. She looks at me with a curious frown, like ‘what the hell?’

“Um, you might not want to kiss me right now … my tongue has recently been occupied,” I say sheepishly.

She looks intrigued. “Now I really want to kiss you.”

But she doesn’t try to kiss me again. Instead, she sits on her couch with a playful smile. “Tell me all about her,” Emily says.

Sitting next to her, I close my eyes and the words just spill out of me. “She has the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen,” I say. I can hear the whimsy in my voice as I recall the way the waves lapped at us, the way she threw her had back and laughed with all of her body as I caught her before she could fall. “And stormy eyes full of wonder and thought. She’s not just a pretty face. There’s more to her, I can just tell. There’s just something about her that’s different. And the musical sound of her laughter—”

I open my eyes to a slightly sardonic smile tugging at her lips and her eyebrows raised.

“You like her,” she says teasingly.

“What? No.”

“Oh my God, you do!” She laughs. “Has someone finally gotten under the Bed Shaker’s skin?”

I run my hands through my hair. Fuck, she’s right. I’m lying to myself if I try to pretend otherwise.

Emily and I talk for a long time, no touching or kissing or contact of any kind. Just talking. She tries to help me sort through these uncharted feelings I’m having. Did I mention Emily is a therapist?

“You are developing actual human emotions for this girl, Ram. I’m proud of you. Don’t try to bury them. It’s a good thing,” she says.

I shake my head. “I don’t even know her.”

“But the fact that you want to means you’re evolving. Maybe it’s time to put the Bed Shaker to rest.”

“It’s the Bed Shaker Cadie wants. Not me,” I say. “I think she’s using me to get over someone.”

Admitting that makes me feel nauseous. I want to be the only man she thinks about. I don’t even know her ex or why they broke up, but whoever he is, I want to pummel him. Landing a girl like Cadie, I’m sure he’s wealthy and looks like Thor. I’m probably a sad substitute and that’s why she didn’t want to have sex with me.

I try to shake those thoughts out of my head. What the hell is wrong with me? That’s not the type of insecure shit that ever crosses my mind. I don’t care why women fuck as long as they’re fucking me. It’s about the sex. Nothing more.

Emily looks thoughtful. “Pretty name,” she says. “But you don’t know what she wants. Open yourself up to the possibility. Now, go think about it. And take care of that.” She