anytime soon. I lock myself in the bathroom, staring at my cell.
Once I make this call, it’ll be official. There’ll be no turning back. Leaning against the door, I gaze at myself in the mirror. I recall every single memory that has led me here. My friends dying, me dying, it all can’t be in vain.
Roman once said to me that if I died, what was the point to all this heartache? That sentence has resonated with me since I first heard it because I now know what all this means.
My fingers tremble as I scroll through my contact list. It’s just after five a.m., but I can’t wait. I’m afraid I’ll chicken out if I do. I plan to leave a message, so I’m surprised when Dr. Carter answers the phone.
“Lola?” His croaky voice is a sure sign I’ve woken him. I instantly feel awful for disturbing him. “Is everything all right?”
“I’m so sorry, Dr. Carter. I didn’t mean to wake you. I can call back…” I make a face, embarrassed I woke him.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’m awake now. What can I do for you?” I hear a rustle and soft footsteps.
“I was wondering if I could come to see you today. I wanted to ask you something.” I bite my lip, nervous he’ll refuse.
“Of course. Come see me around midday.”
I exhale in relief. “Thank you so much.”
“Will Dr. Archibald be coming with you?”
Peering at my reflection, I tell myself this is the right thing to do. Roman has his entire life to be angry with me. “No, just me. If you wouldn’t mind, can you not mention this to anyone?”
He’s silent, most likely wondering why. “Of course. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
I hang up, one step closer to achieving what I know will work. Roman will hate me—of this I’m sure—but this is the only way.
I leave a letter telling Roman I will be back later, ready to claim my prize.
I know this most likely will be the last time I see Dr. Carter. After today, my life will change forever.
This waiting room with its flawless exterior only covers what’s hiding beneath. These walls have seen immeasurable pain, but I’m hoping to be in the minority where things are sometimes just how they should be.
Wilma peers at me from over her marbled counter, focusing on my foot, which is bouncing uncontrollably. “Sorry,” I mouth, lost in my own world.
She smiles. I’ve always liked her. She has been good to Georgia and me. The thought of my friend has me pulling back my shoulders. I know she would be proud of what I’ve decided.
“Lola.” Dr. Carter opens his office door, smiling when he sees me.
I press the folder with the mountain of printouts to my chest as I stand. “Hi, Dr. Carter.”
He gives me all the time I need as I limp to his door. I know today is just one of many to come.
Once I’ve crossed the threshold, I slump on the leather seat, taking a deep breath. This is it. The point of no return.
Dr. Carter reads my desperation and places formalities aside. “What can I do for you?”
My heart begins to beat madly. Although I’m terrified, the sound is comforting. It encourages me to continue. Leaning forward, I pass him the folder. Everything I need to say is in there.
He accepts it, his confusion apparent. Nonetheless, he slips on his silver-framed glasses and opens what I hope to be Roman’s future. Dr. Carter is an intelligent man, and it doesn’t take him long to figure out why I’m here. The note I’ve written him is the first thing he reads.
“Is this true?” he asks, shaking his head, stunned.
I nod, toying with the locket around my neck. “Yes.”
He leans back in his seat, blowing out a heavy breath. I give him all the time he needs because it’s a lot to take in. “Lola…this is…”
“I know.” He doesn’t need to complete the sentence. I know what he’s thinking.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“Yes.” I don’t need time to think because it’s the only thing that makes sense.
He steeples his fingers, pondering. He can’t say no. He’s the only person I know who can help me.
“Please…help me help him. He’s the only thing that matters.”
Dr. Carter has seen my tears before, but something in this plea touches him. Whether it’s my honesty or what I’m proposing, I’ll never know, but when he nods, time stands still. “Okay.”