A universal fist bump is the first step toward our healing. Who would have thought?
She looks like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders, and in a way, I know how she feels. “I’m going to get ready for dinner. Your father has gone a little overboard. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I went to Magnolia Bakery on the way home.”
Camille Van Allen is making jokes? Today is truly a strange day.
I’m thankful she doesn’t linger, and when she closes the door behind her, I stand in the middle of the room, digesting everything that just happened.
The pink music box catches my eye. Maybe I’m finally free to dance like the ballerina after all.
I can’t sleep.
I told Dad about the trials, and he did something I never thought he’d do. He put down his silverware at the dinner table, and he cried. Seeing your father, who you always saw as big, strong, and invincible, sob like a baby, is disconcerting, but it was nice knowing he cared.
My mom shed a tear, but I think she’s keeping them locked away, knowing many more are to come.
After stuffing myself fuller than a piñata at a ten-year-old’s birthday party, I thanked my parents for dinner and went home. I thought I’d fall into an exhausted heap, considering the events of today, but I didn’t. I lie awake, staring up at my ceiling, wondering what happens now.
Undergoing the remainder of the trials seems pointless; as Dr. Carter said, it’s just prolonging the inevitable. This decision will result in me crossing the finish line sooner rather than later, but it’s what I want.
What I also want is Roman.
I hate the way we left things. I needed time to clear my head, and although it’s not any clearer than it was, I do know I don’t want to spend my remaining time without him. I don’t agree with his decision, but if it’s what he wants, then I will try to support him.
Turning onto my back, I huff, annoyed that I’m still wide-awake at three a.m. The harder I try to fall asleep, the more awake I seem to be.
Kicking off the blankets, I give up on the notion of counting sheep and decide to finish writing in the journal Tamara gave me. The entries are plagued with uncertainty, but this entry will be a new chapter.
Just as I press pen to paper, my cell chimes. I pause, peering from left to right, wondering if I’m hearing things. The illuminated screen on my nightstand reveals my hearing isn’t failing me just yet. Reaching for my phone, my heart jumps into my throat when I see what the simple message says.
Sunflower.
This word has taken on a whole different meaning. Our SOS.
Jumping from my bed, I skid along the tiles and almost collide with the front door as I open it. However, I do collide into something warm, hard, and delicious smelling when I step out into the hallway.
He catches me, just as I knew he would.
Roman scoops me into his arms and holds me with all his might. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m such a fucking asshole. Please forgive me,” he mumbles against my temple.
I close my eyes and bask in his feel, his scent, his warmth. I’m going to miss this so much. “There’s nothing to forgive. It’s all right. You’re here, and that’s all that matters.”
We stand hugging in the hallway with no sign of letting go. However, when I realize I’m standing in my pajamas in the corridor, I gently pull out from his arms. The dim lights echo his broken stance, and I never want to see that look again.
“Come inside.” I’m thankful when he nods.
The moment I close the door, Roman presses his chest to my back and pulls me into his arms once more. There is a lingering urgency to our connection, and I know he feels it too.
“They were supposed to work. This is not how your story ends,” he says, tightening his hold around my waist.
“Everyone’s story is different.”
“I gave you false hope.” His guilt is palpable, but he has nothing to be guilty for.
“Stop it,” I press. “Any hope is better than none.”
“This is my fault.” A tide of his sweetened breath warms the length of my neck. “I was so certain it would work.”
“It’s nobody’s fault. I was so determined to live, and I did. This short amount of time was the best time of my life.