“Then why the cold shoulder?” I’m being forward, but he’s being evasive.
The atmosphere turns stale.
“It’s better this way. We need to put some space between us. It’s for the best. Things have gotten out of hand. It’s my fault I allowed it to go this far.”
My heart throbs. “Why would you say that?”
“Because.”
“Because isn’t an answer,” I snap, angered he won’t elaborate. And angered he thinks I wasn’t a willing participant.
“It’ll have to do.” I can see his anguish at saying such a thing, so why is he saying it at all?
Sick of these games, I stand, brushing the dirt from my hands. That’s as far as my courage stems. I keep my back turned, unable to face him.
“I know this is all incredibly messed up, and if I could take it back—”
I don’t allow him to finish and spin around, enraged. “I’m not interested in hearing about your wrongdoings and then expecting me to absolve you of your sins. I don’t understand what is going on. I thought things were going okay, and then you go and do a one-eighty, leaving me wondering who the hell I grew to lo—” I stop myself before I say something I regret.
“I’m not angry with you. I’m angry with myself,” he finally confesses, offering a small insight into his thoughts.
“Why?” I press, not caring he wants his space. Charging over, I clutch his bicep, pleading he talk. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”
“I can’t!” he exclaims, lifting his eyes to meet my frightened ones.
A small gasp escapes me.
“Roman…” But he doesn’t allow me to finish.
Tearing his arm out from my grip, he chooses his words wisely. “No, Lola…you and me”—he gestures two fingers back and forth between us—“we won’t work. We can’t.”
I step backward, his confession like a slap across my cheek.
“Please try to understand. This is for the best.”
“Best for whom?” I fold my arms across my chest, hoping to keep out the cold.
“For everyone,” he clarifies, frowning unhappily. “I never should have kissed you.”
A jolt of dejection traps inside my throat. “You r-regret it?”
He smiles, but it’s bittersweet. “No…and that’s the problem.”
“So that’s it, then?” He’s ending something that never even had a chance.
“There are things you don’t understand.”
“Then explain them to me and make me understand.” It’s my final plea.
“I’ve run out of words.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I allow them to fall because this makes it all real. I must accept that this, whatever this was, is really over. It’s now time to move on, but move on to what? I’m afraid of what’s lurking in the shadows.
“Soon, you won’t have to worry about seeing me. You can live, and be strong, and forget you ever met me.”
My mouth parts, and a pained breath breaks free. “What’s that supposed to mean?” It shouldn’t surprise me when I’m greeted with a wall of silence. I’m done with his games. “Roman, you have three seconds to tell me the truth before I walk away, and this, whatever this is”—I throw my hands toward the heavens—“is over.”
He presses his lips together, trapping the words within.
“One…two…” I pause, hoping that the floodgates will open by some miracle, but I should know by now that miracles aren’t real. “Three,” I conclude, wiping away a fallen tear.
Some small part of me believes he will stop me from leaving, but he doesn’t. He bows his head and stares at the ground.
I can’t stand here and be rejected—twice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…
A shard of moonlight illuminates the field of roses, giving me the strength I need. “For the record, you’re not someone I can ever forget. The fact you think I can shows me that what I felt for you was clearly not reciprocated.” My comment wounds him, but it’s too late. I’m done. “Goodbye, Roman.”
This is his chance to tell me I’m wrong, but he doesn’t. “Goodbye, Lola.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. I’ve always hated goodbyes, but this one tears me in two.
Unable to stand here a second longer, I turn and walk blindly to my room.
Once inside, the walls begin closing in on me, and I can’t breathe. I frantically claw at my neck, desperate for air, but in the process, Sadie’s necklace falls to the ground, the clasp broken.
“No!” I cry, scrambling on hands and knees to save it. But it’s too late. “No!”
Ugly tears I’ve tried so hard to keep at bay break the floodgates and come gushing from me