his smirk, I place a hand on my hip. “What, you got a thing against bears?”
“No, not at all.” His grin reveals otherwise.
“Good, ’cause you sure as hell have acted like one with a sore head this week.” I slap my hand over my mouth, mortified. Roman erupts into laughter while I curse my wicked tongue. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”
But he cuts me off, bracing one foot against the step I’m on. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry.”
His apology surprises me. “It’s fine. I hope you’re okay?” That’s me offering an olive branch, hopeful he’ll share why he’s been MIA.
He doesn’t, but what he does is almost give me a heart attack. He reaches forward and adjusts the bill of my hat. “I am now.”
“I’m glad,” I croak out, wetting my dry lips.
“For the record, the Cubs are a baseball team from Chicago, and they’re playing the Yankees tonight.”
My mouth forms an O. “Well, looks like we’re on opposing teams then.”
“Looks that way,” he replies with a grin. He brushes a stray piece of hair behind my ear before running the back of his pointer along my jawline. I stand motionless, too afraid to breathe. “We better get going before we hit traffic.”
All I can do is nod.
When he finally releases me from his invisible spell, I exhale and take a moment to find my feet. He turns and makes his way toward the parking lot. Once I feel confident to move without falling on my face, I follow, a surge of excitement flowing through me.
This is not a date by any means, but I’m excited nonetheless.
We walk to his Jeep in silence, and that silence continues as we leave the gates of Strawberry Fields and head down I-90. A soft rock ballad plays over the speakers, but we both seem too preoccupied to pay attention to the song.
“How’d it go with Teddy?” Roman asks, breaking the stillness.
I shrug, picking at my nail polish. “Fine. He said he’d give you the results.”
“Sorry I wasn’t there…I had something to take care of.” I wait for him to elaborate, but of course that’s just wishful thinking. “I’ll go over the results as soon as we get back.”
“No hurry,” I reply.
“You’re not curious?” His eyes are focused straight ahead, his hands gripping the steering wheel loosely, but he tightens his hold and breaks his concentration to snap his head my way when he hears my reply.
“It is what it is. Curious or not, that won’t change the outcome. Either the trials will work or they won’t. I can’t change that.”
“That sounds like the speech of someone who’s given up.”
“On the contrary, it’s a speech of someone who is finally accepting that what will be, will be. I have thrown myself into this trial harder than I did the first time around. If it doesn’t…work”—I swallow—“then at least I can say I did everything I could. I was ready to give up, but I was given a chance at hope thanks to you. Even if that hope is in vain, it’s more than I had before I met you.”
Roman blinks once, obviously stunned by my honesty. I am too.
He returns his attention to the road, but his white knuckles on the steering wheel give me insight into what’s currently going on inside his head.
“This will work,” he affirms. “It has to.”
“Has to?” I question, sitting taller, never taking my eyes off him. He shifts in his seat.
“Yes, it has to.” He stares vacantly ahead. “I won’t accept a world where you don’t exist.”
“Roman,” I gasp, touched by his declaration.
A cloud of sadness suddenly shadows him, and all I want to do is hold is hand. “All of this…it isn’t for nothing. It can’t be. It has to amount to something because what’s the point if it doesn’t?”
Listening to my heart, I grab his hand, which sits bunched in a fist against his thigh. “Sadie told me something, which now makes complete sense. Better I die fighting than die without a fight.” I coax him to unclasp his hold and allow me in. When he finally gives in, the victory leaves me hopeful. “So we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, let’s just enjoy today before we worry about tomorrow.”
During the entire drive, Roman never releases my hand, and not a word is spoken further. But we don’t need words because it’s the unspoken that means so much. I allow my mind to wander, getting carried away in a future where I