that. What you don't know is that she kicked that shit, too. She did it, and she'll know how to help Jade."
Maybe he should have been surprised, but he wasn't. Trix was sexy curves over steel, the kind of tough that only came from surviving hell. It was most of the reason she fit in with the O'Kanes. "Is Trix gonna go for ink?"
"I don't know." Lex pulled away slightly, her eyes shuttered. "I won't know, Dallas. That's not who I am, not anymore."
Unable to stop himself, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his mouth to her temple. "I'm sorry, Lex. I'm fucking sorry. I'll do better. I need you. We all do."
She stiffened. "I did everything, Dallas. I gave you all those things you wanted. I played my part, I did my job--I even killed that man. Not for myself, because I was scared or pissed off, but for you. So you could rest. I'm here, in your room and in your fucking clothes...and you still don't understand."
"I hurt you." Even the admission grated, but it was the truth. "I've never had to do this before. The submission, all of it--it was always about the bed. I should have been more careful. I should have protected you better."
"Protected me from yourself?" Shaking her head, she pushed against his chest. "It's on me. I should have known how wrong this would go."
His arms tightened instinctively, and he couldn't stop them. This was it. This was where fear overcame him, fear of losing the person he needed more than air, more than the blood in his veins. Fear of letting her slip away only to find that nothing would satisfy him ever again.
This was the moment he would close his hands around the one thing he should have cherished and crush the light out of it, because he was too selfish to let something beautiful escape.
He could keep her here. No one would stop him, not if he played it right. He could wear her down, use what he knew of her body and her needs, break down those walls so completely she wouldn't be able to find two bricks to stack together.
He was Dallas fucking O'Kane, king of Sector Four. She belonged to him.
"One kiss," he whispered. "Give me one kiss."
Silence. Then she wrenched out of his arms so fast she almost tumbled to the floor. "This is why," she whispered hoarsely. "Noelle wanted me to tell her I'd stay, but I can't, and this is why."
He clenched his fists until his fingers ached to keep from reaching for her. "You can stay. I won't--" The words were broken glass in his throat, cutting him as he forced each one free. "It was goodbye, Lex. Just a kiss goodbye."
She eyed him warily before finally taking a step back. "I can't right now. Not tonight."
Fear. There was fear in her eyes, and that was when he recognized the horrifying truth. This wasn't the moment. The moment had come and gone, and he hadn't seen it. He'd closed his fingers tight enough to crush the trust out of her, and he hadn't even realized it.
Closing his eyes spared him the sight of her, but not the guilt. Not the pain. "Okay. Just go. You can go."
Her breath caught on a sob, but the only other sounds were of soft, quick footsteps...and the slamming of the door.
He waited long enough for her to be well and gone before rocking to his feet. Mechanically, he pulled on socks and boots, buckled his belt and found a T-shirt. Familiar motions, things his body could do without thought.
He wasn't going to think. Couldn't afford to, not while he was still sober enough to chase Lex down and try to change her mind.
There might not be enough whiskey in the world to drown out the knowledge that he'd put fear in Lex's eyes, but he was damn sure going to find out. After all, he was Dallas fucking O'Kane.
And Dallas O'Kane was all he'd ever be. Declan had to die tonight, and take all those messy personal feelings with him. Weakness and vulnerability and love.
Whiskey oblivion was a fitting way to start the rest of his lonely, miserable life.
Jasper
When people split up, it always ricocheted like a fucking bullet, ripping through everyone who happened to be close by.
You couldn't get much closer to Lex than Noelle. Jasper was closer to Dallas, which left him shit out of luck, pushed out of his own bed while