"This is me, all me," she countered. "Dallas isn't making me go. He doesn't even want me to. But I have to."
"Oh, Lex. No." Noelle released her only to curl an arm around her waist, tugging her toward the couch. "Come on and sit with me for a few minutes. Tell me why you think this is your fault."
"Not fault, not like that." She sank to the cushions and leaned her head against Noelle's shoulder. Support had been hard to come by the last couple of days, mostly because Lex had to hold back from accepting it. It only reminded her of all she'd be leaving behind. "There are just so many things, so many reasons it would be easier to stay. And I can't."
"You should be able to," Noelle whispered. "What Dallas did to you was wrong. You say he's not driving you away, but he is."
It was hard to know for certain when Dallas seemed so oblivious to the real problem, and so sure of himself that she couldn't help but second-guess herself. Noelle had reacted with gratifying outrage, but even that couldn't erase the doubt.
It drove her to grip Noelle's hand. "You understand, don't you? Dallas has no idea what he did, and it's making me wonder if I'm just crazy."
"He put his ambition before you," Noelle said immediately. She traced one of the ink marks swirling across her own shoulder before reaching out to touch Lex's throat. "He asked you to give up all your defenses, and then he didn't protect you. It's wrong. Jasper tried to send me to Eden, but he was cutting out his own heart because he thought it'd keep me safe. Even if he didn't do it, Dallas was considering cutting out yours, just to get more of something he has too much of already."
Lex's throat went tight. It was everything she'd been too wounded and twisted up to say, every reason she'd been betrayed not only by Dallas's actions, but by his confusion. Hearing it all laid bare hurt, so much she couldn't breathe.
She finally managed to drag in a breath that sounded more like a sob. "Jasper was thinking of you. He screwed up, but he did it for you."
Noelle dragged her closer, wrapped her in her arms and her love and made soothing, sympathetic noises. "I know, Lex. I know."
"Dallas doesn't get it. He has no idea what he did wrong."
Noelle rested her cheek on top of Lex's head with a sigh. "Maybe he does, and he can't admit it. He tried to offer you something he values--power. But Dallas is an intuitive man. A smart man. I think he knows you better than that."
He did, of course. He'd kept Cerys's visit from her and skated around the issue long enough for Lex to realize he knew she wouldn't be happy about any of it. "He wants it all. Sector Two and me."
"Then he's not only greedy, he's stupid." Noelle's voice held no room for argument. "But that doesn't mean he gets to take everything you've built and all the people you love away from you."
Her home, her family. "I should have known it would go down like this. Dallas and I have never been easy."
"Maybe this'll teach him." Noelle cupped Lex's cheek and tilted her head up. "I've never been sure if I think he deserves you. But it's not about me. What do you want?"
The impossible question, because the answer made her sound weak. "I love this place. I've been here so long--Jesus, I helped build it. I want to stay here, Noelle. I've never wanted anything more." A lie, but just a little one.
She wanted Dallas the most.
And Noelle knew it. The other woman had grown in more than one way in the time she'd been free of Eden. She pressed her forehead to Lex's and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Are you afraid to stay because you're afraid you'll go back to him, no matter what?"
Lex had to stop fucking crying. "I know I will. It's not even a question. What kind of idiot does that make me?"
"The kind who's in love." Noelle's lips feathered over Lex's cheeks, kissing away the tears. "But you've got people who care about you. I won't let you go back. Hell, every woman wearing cuffs will line up and take turns sitting on you. You're ours."
She couldn't make that promise, not with Dallas's words still shivering through her. Somehow, I'll