Between Us and the Moon - Rebecca Maizel Page 0,87

times during the day. Ettie, Mom, Nancy—never, not once, is it Andrew. By midafternoon his absence is all I can think about.

He lobsters Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and he’s at the juvenile detention center Mondays and Wednesdays. It’s Monday. Maybe he’s just too busy?

Maybe?

That night at dinner, I’m stabbing peas again. Andrew still hasn’t called.

In the living room the TV weatherman talks about the tropical storm.

“Even if it’s a tropical storm,” Dad says, taking a bite, “we could have wind speeds up to fifty miles an hour.”

“So you’re telling me I need to have a tent assembled and disassembled the same night?” Nancy asks and sips on her wine.

I purposefully left my phone upstairs once I started getting the marathon text messages from Ettie, who heard from Becky Winthrop’s little sister that I had a boyfriend. She was mortified that she hadn’t been briefed about Andrew and me making it official. I imagine how the story went down. Poor Bean has a boyfriend, some loser on the Cape. I’m the butt of some horrible joke and I realize—fork in the air, about to take a bite of Chilean sea bass—Tucker had to make that call to me this afternoon.

Becky made him. Becky wanted to make sure that she was in charge, in control. She wanted me to know that they were still together even though Tucker was going to Scarlett’s party where he couldn’t bring her as his date. Oh joy. School is going to be super fun this year.

“We’ll get Scarlett at ten next Friday morning,” Mom says to Nancy. I tune back into the conversation. “You should come along.”

“No thanks,” I say and sip from a glass of water.

“Oh,” Mom replies and lowers her fork. “Okay.”

“You should go with your mother if she asks you,” Nancy says.

“No,” I say, my head swiveling to Nancy. She’s dressed in her own grown-up version of the cupcake dress. “We’re talking about something that is happening a week from now. And it was an invitation not a command.”

I know I stepped over the line. I put my fork down.

“I’m going upstairs,” I say. Everyone is silent at the table, and Dad is watching the game in the other room.

“Beanie, you should finish your dinner,” Mom says, but I keep going up the stairs.

“Bean!” Nancy calls, but I don’t listen. I don’t need to.

I don’t want to be Scarlett’s welcoming committee. Scarlett, who belittles me. Scarlett, who scoffs when she even considers that I might sneak out of the house. How many times has she looked down her nose at me? Heat sweeps over my cheeks. She bought me that Egyptian Musk because she knows that I envy what she thinks is beautiful.

I am at the top of the stairs when I hear whispering from the kitchen table, probably about my behavior.

All that evening I wait for my phone to beep. Andrew usually calls or texts a few times during the day. I blew it. I was a lunatic at Fort Hill. They should just lock me in a cage and let people examine me. I’m like a wild animal.

I finally succumb to the assault of messages from Ettie and confess that I fooled around with Andrew. I don’t tell her the specifics, but I admit that we went further than I ever did with Tucker.

ETTIE: You traitor. I am stuck at band camp every day and you are hooking up.

ETTIE: Hello? I want specifics here.

I hesitate.

ME: There’s not much to say!

ETTIE: Tell me everything! Please!?

ME: Going to bed, will update in the morning.

I’m not really going to bed. I just want the beeping to stop, so the false hopes stop too. As I lie there, the walk at the Fort Hill trail floats into my mind, but it’s not about the fight with Andrew. The boardwalk snakes into the trees and the light filters through the full green leaves in thick beams. Mom and Dad walk side by side. Dad wipes his head with a handkerchief. My feet are clad in pink sandals and the plunk plunk sound of my feet echoes over that boardwalk.

That will never happen again.

My phone is silent on the bed. The silence is different in this house than at home. No TV chattering away all night, no whir of the computer, just the central air system cooling the house.

All I want in this whole freaking world is for that phone to beep. And I want it to be Andrew. I want it to be Andrew who says to