Between Now and Heartbreak - Dylan Allen Page 0,97

that I can. How do I get over you?”

Her eyes slide away from mine and she curls her hand into a fist.

“Carter. It’s illegal. There’s not a place on this planet that we’d actually want to live where we could be together.”

“I’d live in hell to be with you.”

She takes a step back and turns away again.

She hangs her head. “You don’t mean it. You’re confused. I know we just got carried away, but that was wrong.” Her voice quavers, and her arms shake as she presses them to the piano for purchase.

I want to press my body to hers, to hold her there until she stops saying things that I can’t bear to hear.

“How…how can what we just did, what we’ve been doing…how can it be wrong? Did you just switch off your feelings?” I take a step toward her and she flinches. Her shoulders heave like she sucked in a huge gulp of air.

The tension in the air is thick enough to choke on. It clogs my throat and I can’t speak. I reach a tentative hand out and grasp hers. Her fingers are stiff in my hold before she pulls away.

I want to die from the way it hurts. I can’t lose her. I can’t.

“I’ll never get over you, Beth. This is going to kill me.”

“Don’t say that.” Her rebuke is sharp and angry. But I can’t help the way this feels.

“Carter. Nothing lasts forever. You know this. Why do you think love is the exception? Give it time.” The conviction in her voice cuts me in half.

“What? Two days? That’s all it seems to have taken you.”

She squares her jaw and looks me directly in the eye. There’s a fire in hers and I feel the scorn in her words as if she injected them directly into my blood. This fucking sucks. We’re both angry and yet neither one of us have done anything wrong.

“You have no idea what I’ve suffered. You were born free. Your parents loved you. They nurtured your passion. They let you chase your dreams and let you quit when you decided you didn’t want it. You don’t know what it is to have nothing, but yourself. If I fall apart, there’s no one to pick me up. So, yes, Carter, I’ve forced myself to get over you. You are my biological brother. There is nothing to be done about that, and I have a sister who I know needs me more than ever. I can’t believe I almost ran off and left her with these monsters.”

You are my biological brother.

Hearing her say it jars every single cell in my body. How can this be happening? All because we had the misfortune to be sired by a man who saw his children as property. We’ve both been lied to by the very people who were supposed to protect us from liars.

“Go, Carter. You can still do all the things we talk about. But, I can’t go anywhere until I can make sure Cameron is going to be fine. Make your music, sing your songs, be the entertainer you were meant to be. Forget me. We didn’t do anything wrong. And as long as we end it now, we can walk away without any stains on our conscience.”

Without another word, she walks past me. The sun breaks in as she steps through the door and when it closes, I’m plunged back into darkness. Instantly, my skin feels too tight and I can’t bear to be in the church for one more second.

I stumble out of there, the last place on earth I’d been able to find any semblance of comfort, a ruined shell of my former myself. I only make it two steps before my stomach heaves and I throw up.

Two hours later, I’m on my way to the airport. I can’t wait to put this fucking town behind me. But I’m leaving a huge piece of myself here, too. But it’s a part of myself I’m happy to part with. I may never know the truth of my parents, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know their truth to discover my own.

Beth is right.

What I do with my next breath is what matters.

So, I put Elisabeth Mortimer Wolfe where she belongs and vow to never look back that way again.

39

MOVING ON

BETH

ONE YEAR LATER

When I went to give Carter the results of the DNA test I’d also planned to tell him that I was pregnant. I’d found out the day before