Between Now and Heartbreak - Dylan Allen Page 0,80
is as good as law around here, but they can’t touch me. And I’m not changing my mind. You say you trust me. But, that’s not what it feels like.”
God, what a mess.
I’m overwhelmed by so many emotions, but I need to try an explain and correct the things he said that aren’t true.
“It’s not you. They’ve taken everything I have ever loved and either destroyed it, or used it against me. I don’t want them to know that love you. Because Carter, if they know, I swear, that will be it.”
His eyes cloud over, his nostrils flare and the muscles in his jaw flex. I cup his face.
“The fact that you’re upset on my behalf… I’ve never had that from anyone but my brothers. I don’t want to lose it. Just let me have some time to figure out the best way to deal with Duke. He’s not unreasonable like my father.”
He looks around the room, but his eyes aren’t focused on anything in particular.
“This town…” his words trail off, but his expression and the contempt in it finishes his sentence for him. And even though I know he’s not wrong to feel that way about this town, and living here has been less than wonderful, I can’t help but feeling like I need to defend this town.
“It’s not so bad,” I say, and then cringe when I hear how lame I sound.
I expect him to cringe, too, and push back. Instead a slow, sensual, victorious smile tugs the corners of his lips upward and when his dimples make an appearance, my toes curl and a luscious heat flows from the place inside of me that I used to think was broken.
“Now, why in the world should a girl born with stars in her eyes, mercury in her blood and fire in her soul, settle for a life that’s not so bad?” he asks.
And I don’t have an answer. I can only look into his eyes and soak up what I see there.
They’re a portal to a different dimension. One where I belong to myself and I have a choice about who share to that with..
“Not so bad won’t do for my Queen Beth. I want to give you everything. I’m signing the deal…I can take care of us.”
I freeze, surprised and alarmed all at once.
“The deal? The one you said would mean selling your soul?”
“I was being stupid. And if that’s the price of having you with me, I’ll pay it.” His voice is imploring, but his eyes are demanding. He reaches behind him.
“I got you something.” He hands me his phone.
I read the email twice.
“New York?” My heart leaps in my chest as I look at the electronic boarding pass.
“It’s an open-ended ticket. Whenever you’re ready. So you can see what’s possible. And then maybe, this won’t feel like such a hard choice for you. Even though, I don’t understand how it is now.”
I hand is phone back – torn but so giddy. “Carter, he’s my father. I know you don’t understand because yours loved you. I know he’s not a good man, but he’s the only blood I have left.” I am pleading with him, hoping he’ll understand why it’s not so easy for me to walk away.
His eyes harden and I can see he doesn’t. He puts a hand on each of my shoulders and looks me in the eye.
“You have yourself, baby. It’s not a choice between me and him. Or New York and Winsome. Or even art school and marriage. It’s a choice between a life or an existence.”
I want to stop saying no. He’s laid everything I want at my feet. I just don’t know how to say yes.
He curses under his breath and walks out of the bathroom. I follow him into the bedroom. He doesn’t say anything while we dry off and get dressed. Neither do I.
The space between us feels like a minefield, one wrong step and everything will be destroyed. But, I didn’t come this far to let fear continue to lead me.
When we’re sitting on the bed, not touching, but facing each other, I reach for him.
My heart sinks when he stands and wordlessly walks to the window. His back is rigid, his whole body tense.
“Baby?”
“You don’t get to blame anyone else for the burns you get when you make a home in a house that’s on fire.”
He turns around and his expression is determined and severe.