Between Now and Heartbreak - Dylan Allen Page 0,22
he’s in agony and throws his head back. “
“I told you I didn’t try to fuck her. Not that I couldn’t have. And if you would start sleeping in my bed, you’d know where I was every night.” He says it like he actually believes it.
My body hums, like one of those old wind up timers right before it goes off. “That’s never going to happen. I know what you did to me that night. You’re lucky I didn’t call the police” I snarl at him.
He moves so fast that I don’t realize he’s getting up until he’s standing right in front of me. He takes hold of my chin in a punishing grip and his other hand lands with a firm pat on my cheek. I’m too stunned to move at first.
“Watch your fucking mouth.” His voice is smooth as silk. But flash of rage in his eyes tells the real story. He looks like the devil, for real.
I yank out of his hold and scramble to stand on the other side of the table, my heart racing from the jolt of adrenaline.
“Did you slap me?” I demand incensed, now.
He blinks, like my anger and question are startling. Then, he shuts his eyes and curses under his breath. After a few seconds he lets out a breath and opens his eyes. They’re clear, the rage I saw a few seconds ago is gone.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
My heart rate picks up even more as he closes the distance between us. I didn’t imagine that look in his eyes just now and no one can switch off that fast.
“I’m pissed at that lying bitch who ruined everything tonight. I lost it for a second. I’m sorry, Clover.” He stops a few feet away from me and waits for me to respond.
I don’t know what to say. This is a disaster I didn’t anticipate. But all of this has been nothing like I expected.
I was desperate to get away from my grandmother. I thought pretending would be easy. But it’s getting harder and harder to look in the mirror when I’m dressed like this.
And since I saw Carter at Corks, I’ve been increasingly aware of the stark contrast between the life I want and the one I’m living.
An honest existence versus this lie.
Feelings versus obligation.
I was nauseous when replayed our disastrous encounter at the records office. The hurt in his eyes had made my knees weak. But seeing that text, and imagining how he felt receiving it, broke something in me. I can’t stop thinking how different things might be if he hadn’t received.
He might have come to look for me.
But so what? My father wouldn’t have allowed it.
The unsympathetic truth is, no matter how badly I want to, now I can’t allow it. I’ve got to salvage this mess and keep my promise to Cameron.
I look over at Duke. He’s pacing, scheming, and probably thinking about himself. He’s clearly chafing against the confines of our agreement. This whole thing with Julia, it’s so reckless it smacks of self-sabotage.
“Why did you go to my father to set a date?” I demand.
He flinches like something stung him and then he turns away from me before he answers. “I didn’t go see him about it. He brought it up when we were meeting and I wasn’t going to argue with him. He wants this done so he can assure the stockholders that he’ll have a successor when he steps away to run for governor. He thinks he can win this time, so he’s going all in.”
“He made it sound like you came to him.” I say, not hiding my disbelief.
He shakes his head in a vigorous denial. “No, I didn’t.”
“So why have you been avoiding me?” I press.
“I’ve been busy. Work is a lot.” He says, his voice growing pained, and his discomfort clear on his face.
He’s lying.
“Duke, if something is wrong, you should tell me. We may not really be a couple, but once we get married, all of our stuff becomes each other’s. We’re legally like the same person. So, I need to trust you.”
“You can trust me. I’ve just been working trying to learn all this shit for this job.”
“I can’t trust you to be discrete about your lovers.”
“It won’t happen again, get off my ass, please.” He
“Duke, I don’t care who you fuck. As long as it’s not me. If we do all this and don’t get the money after all...” I glare at him.