Between Love and Honor (Men of the Secret Service #3) - Tracy Solheim Page 0,59
prefer the term provocateur.”
She snorted as she sat on the futon beside him.
“I repeat my question. Who are you? And, more importantly, how did you discover who I work for?”
Ben handed her a sandwich. “I have a close relationship with the Secretary of Homeland. She might have mentioned it.”
A wave of sharp, unbidden jealousy washed over her at his nonchalant reply. Secretary Sabrina Lyle was a stunning, raven-haired, Latina woman with the intelligence and backbone to match her appearance. Both men and women were intimidated by her. But even more men wanted to possess her. Women coveted her steely spine.
The secretary had come up through the ranks of US Intelligence and she was well-respected within the world’s covert community. A widow for more than a decade, there were frequent rumors of her taking handsome young agents “under her wing.” Quinn was suddenly picturing all the ways the secretary might have “mentioned it” to Ben.
“You should see your face right now,” he said with a laugh. “It’s not that kind of relationship. Although I am a little flattered by your jealous scowl.”
“I am not scowling,” she protested, huffing in frustration when the tip of her tongue darted out to swipe at her lip.
He chuckled again before taking a bite of his sandwich. She did the same fearing if her mouth wasn’t full, she’d give away more of herself to him than she already had. The past few hours had been a bit of a revelation. It was liberating to be with someone who so totally got her. A man who knew her secrets and wanted her anyway. Something warm was beginning to blossom inside of her. It felt a lot like hope. Hope that maybe she could get out of the game and have a normal life. A life with Ben.
But the funny thing about hope was it could be extinguished just as quickly as it grew. Ben said he didn’t care about her past transgressions. Except he’d need a pair of rose-colored glasses as thick as the torch room windows to find something redeeming in who she had become. Her throat grew tight just thinking about the many ways he could reject her once he found out all of her secrets.
“You know you’re not the only one who has stepped over the line in defense of their country.”
There he went again, reading her mind. His remarkable intuition and empathy were among the attributes she cherished about him. But she doubted a man who designed artificial intelligence and surfed the web all day could relate to the things she’d had to do throughout the course of her career. Chewing quietly, she kept her opinions to herself. He took another pull from the beer.
“I’ve single-handedly destroyed families, tribes, and economies of small countries,” he continued. “All with a couple of keystrokes. Don’t think I don’t feel a good measure of guilt and remorse for the acts I’ve committed. Just like you, they live with me every day. But I can’t let them haunt me. Neither should you.”
This was the Ben she knew and loved, being sweet to her. Trying to put her at ease. The guy who always found the silver lining, who saw the best in people. If only she could see her life in the same way.
“Is this the part where we compare battle scars and body counts?”
“Jesus, Quinn. You didn’t ruthlessly set out to murder anyone today. You saved my life. Both our lives.” Leaning in, he toyed with a piece of her hair. “Your job isn’t who you are. Just like mine isn’t who I am.”
That was what he thought. That was all his glass-half-full optimism would ever allow him to think. But if they stood any kind of a chance for a happily ever after, she had no choice but to tell him the truth.
“You aren’t getting it, Ben,” she whispered. “My job is all I’ve ever been. Even when I was here in Watertown.”
His fingers stilled against her hair. She swallowed roughly waiting for his sharp mind to connect the dots.
“That not possible. You were in high school.”
“Which made me all the more invisible to the people we were investigating. I befriended their kids. It gave me full access to their homes, their boathouses, their cars.” She shrugged. “Without Blaine Simpson’s father providing evidence against Ronoff in exchange for protection, my mother never would have been able to accomplish her mission.”
“You mean you only hung out with that dick to take down his father?”