I smile at Jessica’s Aunt Florence and even at Michael’s prude mother. She looks completely miserable and on the verge of a meltdown. I sigh with relief thinking at least I am not the most depressed person at this ceremony.
When I get to the front of the makeshift altar, I don’t dare look up at Ben, even though I felt him staring at me the whole time I was walking down the aisle. I know what he wants. I know he is trying to draw me in. Ben is just waiting for me to give him that reassuring smile of forgiveness. But I will not. I will not be that Megan who lets guys walk all over her, and I surely will not be that Megan who constantly gets her heart broken and puts up with it. Her ship has sailed and it is never coming back. The new Megan is standing up for herself, because she truly believes she deserves real love and respect. I will not back down or crack under pressure from his perfect white grin. I have way too much self-respect and pride to be another one of his endless string of women who walk through his revolving door, right into his bedroom. I hold my head high and carry on, placing myself in front of Michelle and Stephanie, showing him how strong I can be.
My palms are clammy and I begin to sweat all over, especially when the only thing standing between us is Michael and the marriage officiate. His eyes are still glued on me, but I remind myself not to be sucked in. He whisperingly shouts out my name, and Michael turns and shushes him, which instinctually forces me to look up. I unwillingly lock eyes with him and watch, as he slowly mouths, “I’m sorry.”
I keep a straight face and look away to see Jessica beaming down the aisle. Her flawless smile and look of pride on her dad’s face, combined with Michael sucking back some tears suddenly makes me weepy. I glance over at Ben, seeing his soft brown eyes prickled with a mixture of hurt and doubt. I wish I could just give him the reassurance he needs to know things will be fine between us. But how could they be? How could I be with someone who has been with more women than Hugh Heffner? How could I be with someone who doesn’t believe in love and commitment? And now, after all of this, how could we possibly go back to being friends like we once were?
Jessica and her father distract the both of us, when they approach the altar. Her father has a huge crocodile tear rolling down his cheek when he gently places Jessica’s hand in Michael’s. He gives his only daughter a kiss on the cheek, before he hands her off on the most highly anticipated day of her life.
Chapter 17
After a short and sweet ceremony under the blistering sun, Jessica and Michael are finally introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Michael Mercier. They kiss and he whispers something into her ear. She tosses her head back in a full-bodied laugh, and beams back at him with hearts in her eyes. Everyone cheers and claps when they hoist their clasped hands above their heads, and give each other another loving kiss. Cameras start flashing as Jessica and Michael start the procession down the aisle. Ben catches me off guard and swoops in under my arm to follow behind the bride and groom.
“You look beautiful.” Ben whispers in my ear.
“Thank you.” I reply as mundane as possible.
I plaster a fake smile on my face, grinning at the guests as we walk down the aisle. You can do this. I think to myself, both fearing and hoping I won’t cave from his attempted charm.
Once we are free and clear from the gazebo, Jose comes flying by and snapping his fingers to get the bridal party’s attention. He places himself on a concrete stair and shouts, “Alright everyone, the guests are being shuffled into the hall for cocktails and tapas while you are off taking some lovely pictures on the beach.” He flamboyantly whips his head in the direction of the photographer and shouts, “You only have two hours, so use your time wisely and do not be late.” Within a blink of an eye, Jose is gone and herding the remaining guests with bubbling glasses of champagne and tiny cocktail shrimps.