mints. I prefer Altoids, but a Clorets will do. Stephanie always has raunchy breath. It is your duty to make sure she has a pack at all times.
I am actually starting to wonder if Jessica is losing her mind. I am not running out right now to grab a million packs of Altoids to have on hand at any given moment. She can purchase them herself at the gift shop inside the airport tomorrow morning. If she wants to micro-manage our friend Stephanie’s breath mint consumption, than all the power to her. I will not.
I scroll down the list and come across one ridiculous request after another:
4. “Something Borrowed” – You are in charge of this. It better be good. Or else…
5. Completed first draft of MOH speech. (Hopefully you have already completed the second draft, but I am giving you a little leeway here)
6. Aspirin (I may need this after the Bachelorette party…You know how I get…)
7. Turquoise Bridesmaid Dress (If this is forgotten you are a dead woman!!!!)
Number seven makes me chuckle. To some, this obvious item may be a given, but Jessica knows me well enough to know I would forget my head if it weren’t attached to my body.
I move my finger all the way down her impressive list to item number 105. I think my heart stops when I see the one thing I don’t want to do:
105. Get Emily Waterford to answer all work related calls.
I cringe at Jessica’s request. She doesn’t understand how being a realtor in the city of Chicago is not a life of freedom. After Jessica quit her glorified party-planning career in public relations, following Michael’s recent graduation from Med School, she has forgotten what life is actually like for a single workingwoman.
I turn beat red, when I see item number 105 is followed up with a subsection:
105.1. These calls cannot, under any circumstance be forwarded to Ben’s phone. I don’t care that you work for the same company, and I don’t care if he is wheeling and dealing his listings from Costa Rica. YOU WILL NOT!!! Understand? I need your focus to be on the wedding and me, not what property you have listed this week.
Uggh! How did she know I was thinking of tricking her and doing that? I will have to text Emily and let her know I will need her assistance after all. I am sure Ben won’t mind though, he has enough clients to keep his phone ringing off the hook all week while we are away. At least this way, Ben and I won’t have to sneak around behind Jessica’s back to transfer any work related messages.
My phone vibrates on my nightstand. I jump with fright and snatch it up in my fingers. I secretly hope it’s the Wilson’s ready to make an offer on that spacious four-bedroom ranch style house in suburbia…
But it isn’t, it’s Ben.
“Hey there pretty lady.” He laughs into the phone, and I can tell he may have had a few too many drinks. During our university years, whenever Ben drank alcohol, he seemed to turn into a cowboy, even though he has never been to any wide-open spaces, or even seen a horse.
“What do you want?” I laugh into the phone and continue to make checkmarks along Jessica’s list.
“Where are you?” He asks.
“At home packing, and going over the maid-of-honor checklist Jessica made me.” I chuckle and hear Ben do the same. I pause and listen to the murmur of voices in the background and ask, “Where are you?”
“Are you hungry?” he asks completely avoiding my question. I glance at the clock and see it is already quarter after seven.
“Maybe,” I tease, “Shouldn’t you be at home? We leave early in the morning, remember?”
“I had a date, but I think it’s safe to say I was stood up. I’ve been waiting here for over an hour." He sighs into the phone.
“Are you serious?” I laugh and think something like this would only happen to Ben. He always dates the same type; blonde, young, and dumb.
“Laugh it up chuckles.” Ben moans, “Anyway, I am a block away from your place at Third Rail Tavern. Do you want to meet me for a bite to eat or what?”
I glance down into my suitcase, a disorderly heap of last year’s summer outfits. I contemplate telling him no, worried Jessica would freak if she knew I went out without completing my checklist. But when my stomach begins to rumble, I decide I have