Better If He Goes (Always You #1) - Allie Everhart Page 0,8

in New Mexico.

Nate motions me to follow him. "C'mon."

"I need another cookie," I say, going to get one.

"Just bring the whole jar," he says with a smile. "My mom will make more."

She totally would. She's the best mom ever. She's the kind of mom who makes dinner and bakes cookies and takes care of you when you're sick.

My mom's more like a sister than a mom. She never really grew up. I was forced to raise myself while she went out every night, dressed like a teenager, and brought home random guys. I love her, but I wish she'd act her age. I get tired of always having to be the responsible one.

"Told you it's a mess," Nate says, picking clothes off the floor and tossing them in the hamper.

"I don't mind." I plop down on his bed and finish my cookie. "These are so good. Maybe your mom could teach me how to bake."

"Cookies are easy. Even I could do it. We should make some together."

"That sounds fun. We should totally do that. Maybe Saturday after work. Actually, I think I'd rather go out on Saturday. Where do you want to go?"

"Not sure," he says, plugging his phone into the charger. "I might have to invite Brad to join us. He doesn't know anyone here. I don't want to leave him here alone on a Saturday night."

"Yeah, totally. I forgot he'd be here. Is he taking your sister's room?"

"No, the room in the basement. My mom thought it'd be quieter for studying."

"He's taking classes?"

"No, but he wants to stay up on what he learned so he's ready for med school in the fall." Nate sits beside me. "Lucky bastard. He's going to make a shitload of money someday."

"So are you. You're a talented designer. Designers make good money, don't they?"

"Depends on the job. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do yet."

"I thought you wanted to work at an ad agency."

"Only because I know I can find a job there." He picks up his soda and guzzles it down.

I turn to him. "Nate, you shouldn't take a job you don't like. Find something you really want to do."

"I don't know what that is yet. And until I do, I need to find a job that pays the bills. My student loan payments will be starting soon, and then there's rent and car insurance and all the other shit that comes with being an adult."

"Yeah, I know," I say, slumping back against the headboard. "Sometimes being an adult really sucks. Remember when we thought it'd be so cool to be an adult?"

"Some parts of it are. Like driving. Staying up as late as you want. Eating junk that's not good for you. Falling in love."

I look at him, smiling. "Are you saying you've been in love?"

He finishes his soda and sets the can on the nightstand, not answering me.

I turn to face him. "Were you in love and didn't tell me?"

"No," he casually says. "But I like the idea of it."

"Why? According to my mom, falling in love just leads to heartbreak."

"Or it could lead to happiness."

"It didn't for your parents. Or for mine, although mine don't count since my dad took off before he even knew my mom was pregnant. That definitely wasn't love."

"But you still believe in it, right?"

"Sure. I mean, I want to believe in it."

"You kinda have to," he says with a laugh, "given that you already love me."

"True." I scoot closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. "Guess that makes you my first love."

"And you're mine," he says quietly, kissing the top of my head.

This is why people think we're a couple. The kisses and hugs and admitting we love each other...it makes us seem like a couple. But we're not. Nate even admitted he's never thought of me that way. I was surprised when he said that. I thought for sure he'd at least considered dating me over the years, but I guess not.

"So this summer..." I say.

"What about it?"

"It's not going to be what I was hoping."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought it'd be like all the other years. You and me doing everything together. Working at the pool, then going out, or hanging out here."

"We'll still do that stuff."

"But it won't be the same. Not with your cousin here."

"We can do stuff without him. Brad's good at making friends. He'll meet people here and after a few weeks, he'll be doing stuff with them. I probably won't even see