Better If He Goes (Always You #1) - Allie Everhart Page 0,35

come with me. If you don't want to go to wherever the job is, then I'll keep looking until we find a place we both agree on."

"Nate, what are you—"

"Just let me finish." He looks down at our joined hands. "We've been friends for a long time now and I know we never talked about being anything more than that, but just because we haven't talked about it doesn't mean I haven't thought about it."

"You told me you hadn't thought about it."

"I have." He pauses. "A lot. I never said anything because I didn't want it to hurt our friendship. And I was away at college, so it really didn't make sense to say anything then. But now we're older and I'll be moving away and starting a new life somewhere else, and when I think about that, I can't imagine doing that without you." His eyes meet up with mine. "I want you in my life, Riley, now and in the future. Maybe it won't work out, but I at least want to try."

My heart's racing, and not because I'm excited for what he's about to say, but because I don't want him to say it.

This isn't what I want. I thought he knew that. I thought he felt the same way. We're Nate and Riley. Best friends. Nothing more. That's all we were ever supposed to be.

"Riley." He pauses. "I love you."

Oh, God, now what? What do I say? He's sitting there, staring into my eyes, looking so sincere and hopeful, waiting for a response I can't give him.

"Riley, did you hear me? I love you. I love you with all my heart. I want my future to be with you."

I nod, swallowing and feeling the burn in my throat as I try not to cry. Nate is my best friend, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt him. Knowing I have to tell him this is killing me.

"What do you say? Think we can try this?" He gives me a smile, the same sweet, caring smile that has helped me through many bad days.

A tear slips down my cheek. "I'm sorry, Nate." I shake my head, more tears falling. "I don't feel the same way."

"You don't?" He drops my hand and scoots back on the bench. "Riley, it's okay. I mean, I wasn't expecting you to say it back. Not tonight. I know you weren't expecting this, but now that you know, I think if you give it some time, you'll realize you really do feel the same way."

"No." I look down, then back up at him. "I won't. I love you, Nate, but as a friend. Almost like a brother. But not in the way you're talking about. It's not like I haven't thought about it over the years. And I wanted to feel that way." I look down at the bench. "I just didn't."

"And you still don't?" I hear him say.

"No," I say, more tears streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry, Nate. I wish I felt differently. I really do. You're the absolute greatest guy, and some girl's going to be really lucky to have you someday. That girl just isn't me."

"But if we gave it some time. Tried dating."

I shake my head. "It won't change anything. I can't make myself feel something I don't."

He's silent, and when I look up, my heart breaks seeing the sadness on his face, the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Nate, I'm so sorry." I reach over and hug him. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

He wraps his arms around me, holding me close as we both cry. I feel like this is the end of our friendship, but this can't be the end. It may take some time, but we have to recover from this, move past it, and go back to being Nate and Riley.

"Please don't be mad at me," I say, wiping my eyes as I pull back from him.

"I'm not." He turns away from me, wiping his face.

"Nate, I wish I felt differently. I really do but—"

"Riley, stop. We don't need to keep talking about it. I get it."

I take his hand. "Would you please look at me?"

He turns around. His eyes are red and full of tears.

"Promise me we'll always be friends. Promise me that'll never change."

He wipes his eyes and looks away. "I can't promise you that, Riley. I don't think you realize what it's like to love someone this way and not be able to