definitely be uncomfortable around me. He’s always been loyal to Madd and the Guardians and would take their side in a heartbeat.
In one way, I’m glad Maddox didn’t mention us. It gives me hope that this meeting with him will go well. But there’s also the lingering doubt. Am I that forgettable that I’m not even worth mentioning? Shaking my head to free my thoughts, I take a seat at the bar.
“Yeah, the garage has been packed,” I tell Rhys. It’s not exactly a lie. Business at Wicked Wrench has been booming. In other words, it’s the time of year when all the granny’s in town bring their cars in for their yearly oil change. The average car needs an oil change every three thousand miles and for most folks that work and travel, which can equate to several changes a year. But for the silver hairs who only drive to church and bingo, a yearly is all they need.
They may seem sweet and innocent, but based on the looks they give us when we’re working on their cars, I’m convinced more than half of those ladies are closet freaks. I wouldn’t be surprised to find their bible shares a bedside drawer with a massive ten-speed dildo.
Rhys clears his throat. “Boss said to send you to your usual booth. I’ll let him know you’re here.”
With a nod, I make my way over to the booth. It’s in the middle of the two rooms. On one side we have a clear view of the bar and on the other, we can see into the dancefloor and the stage where the strip shows take place. Maddox prefers this spot so that he can keep an eye on everything.
Speak of the devil. Well, the angel. Angel slides into the seat opposite me. His face is pale and dark circles are visible beneath his blue eyes that aren’t as bright as they used to be.
“Have you eaten?” he asks.
I fight the urge to close my eyes as his voice washes over me. “Figured if we were meetin’ here we’d eat while we talk.”
Angel lets out a shaky breath and pushes his hand through his thick blond hair. The sadness in his eyes is nearly suffocating.
“Jax, I—”
I cut him off. “Why don’t we get something to eat first?” I offer. “I’m starving, and honestly, you look like you could use a good meal.”
A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. “Is that a nice way of tryin’ to tell me I look like shit, Mendez?”
“Oh, I’m not trying to be nice. You look like dog shit,” I admit, and we both laugh.
“Hey there stranger! We’ve missed your face around here,” Shelly says as she plops down into the booth with me. I grin and pull her into my side.
“Yeah work’s been busy.” I look at Madd. “But hopefully it’ll ease up soon and I can be here more.”
Longing floods his features. He understands my deeper meaning, so I hold his gaze and pull back the shutter I’ve had in place since I let him go. For the first time, I let every ounce of pain and despair bleed from my soul through my eyes.
Madd takes in a shaky breath as his own eyes clench, unable to face the pain reflected in mine. My body aches as my muscles fight the ingrained response to go to him, to hold him and piece him back together until his pain is only a memory.
The familiar energy that surrounds us whenever we’re together electrifies the air, and I nearly groan as it envelops me. It’s a feeling I never thought I’d have to live without. If only he knew the power he wields over me.
I lied when I told Maddox that I couldn’t do this anymore. That I needed to walk away because he was killing me. While there was truth in the words, it wasn’t him that was killing me. It was knowing I had to walk away so that he could be free to find the person that could heal the hurt I never could.
The truth is Maddox Black can string me along for the rest of my life and I will willingly hang by that thread until God calls me home.
I read a quote once about love. It said something like If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it was never meant to be. The day I let Maddox go, I was under no illusion he would