Betrayal of the Dove - By Capri Montgomery Page 0,62

guess I hated him, not just for lying to me, for using me, for betraying me and his wife, but I hated him for making me hate myself.”

“That wasn’t your fault, Alyssa.”

“I know that now. I guess I knew it then too, but that didn’t change the anger I felt. And I guess since he wasn’t here for me to take my anger out on him, I took it out on myself. I swore off men because they were all lying to me—at least that’s how I justified it. And I just locked myself away from romantic entanglements…it was easier. I guess that’s why I can understand what Eve is going through; because I’ve been there. Different circumstances, same response.” She finally looked at him, to find him watching her closely. She gave him a one shoulder shrug. “Life happens,” she said before reclining onto her back and staring up at the ceiling tiles as well.

“My dad hated everything I did,” he finally said. “Nothing was ever good enough. My mom never really stuck up for me. He was the “head of household,” or some crap like that. When the military recruits came to my high school I didn’t need to think twice, I just did it. I had just turned eighteen and I didn’t need permission to do it so I put in my papers and agreed to go into the service right after graduation. I didn’t even tell them I was going to do it, or that I was thinking of doing it until I had actually done it. I should have done things differently, but at the time it seemed like the only way.” He turned his head to look at her after she had turned on her side so that she could face him.

“I came home in my uniform and I thought maybe my father would be proud that I had done something with my life. But instead of seeing what I had done, he could only see what I hadn’t done. Shane,” he said in a voice that seemed to mimic his father’s disapproving tone. “You’re not the son I thought you would be.” Shane placed his hand on her arm as if seeking some stable ground for his emotions. “Well, Dad,” he sighed. “You’re not the father I thought you would be either,” he frowned. “I wanted to tell him that, but I didn’t. I should have.”

“Would that have made you feel better; to tell him what you thought? “

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“I don’t think you would have felt any better. I think you wanted to hurt him, the way he had hurt you, but fortunately you were the bigger man and you controlled yourself. If you had sunk to his level you wouldn’t have respected yourself for that.”

He nodded. “True, oh wise one.”

She laughed. She did always have a knack for being the emotional problem solver for everybody, sometimes everybody except herself. Although she would admit that she managed to pull herself through some difficult times. “So,” she sighed. “When do you leave?”

“How did you know I was leaving?”

Her lips turned upward in a half hearted grin. “You were downstairs with Leo for a while and when you came back up here you made love to me like a man getting ready to go on a mission he wasn’t sure he was going to return from.

“I have to meet with my former commanding officer to get some details, some files,” he clarified. “I’ll only be in Colorado for a couple days. Then I’ll be back. Leo will be here and he has agreed to watch over you.”

She shrugged. “I’m fine, Shane. I have my work,” she held up her hand to stop him from protesting because she was opening her store in the morning. “And I’ll stay here at night. I’ll be fine. You just focus on you and making sure you come back alive. Because,” she eased up to rest on her arm and look at him so seriously that she was sure he would understand her words. “If you get yourself killed I’m going to shoot myself and come on after you; you won’t have a peaceful afterlife if I do.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t realize you believed in life after death.”

“I don’t, but one never knows until one dies. If there is a great hereafter, then you’d better hope you’re one hundred twenty before you go there or I’m going to haunt you for an eternity.”

“How do