and heat so bad that you can burn bare thighs on leather seats?”
He was still wrinkling his nose, still being just fucking adorable, when he replied, “Ah, no. It’s not too hot or too humid compared to here, sounds like.”
“And the winter?”
I didn’t miss the pause he took, but I didn’t think much of it either because he hadn’t lived there in years, maybe he’d forgotten. “It’s pretty great in the winter too.”
All I could do was “huh” him. “Better than France in the winter?”
He flashed me a funky smile as he nodded. Then he kept going, not letting me linger. “It’s summer back home now.”
Home. That was a fucking word. I fisted my hand at my side and asked, “Do you miss it?”
He didn’t instantly nod, but when he did, it was heavy. Direct. “Yeah, I do. When I think of home that’s where it is. I’ve moved quite a bit, but that’s where my family is. Mum, Dad. Natia. Two of my brothers; the oldest lives in Aussie. My sister’s in Melbourne too. My nan, granddad, aunties, and uncles… they’re all home. I was planning on seeing them, but….” He trailed off.
He wasn’t sure what his plan was now.
Because of Mo. Me too technically.
And I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Just a little when I thought about how long his season was. How short his time to relax and refresh himself was. And he was staying with us now.
If it was me who didn’t get to see Grandpa Gus and Peter on the regular and only had three months to spend with them when I loved them so much, and then I didn’t get to see them when I more than likely had looked forward to doing so all year….
Family was responsibility. Family was family. At least when you had a good one. And mine might be small, but it was the best. His might be a lot bigger than mine, and I might be on the fence with how I felt about his mom, but it was clear he loved them.
And he was sacrificing his only time with them to be here.
Fuck.
But most importantly, I knew we had to have this conversation, finally. We had put it off long enough. I had put it off long enough.
But I had to go one topic at a time first.
“Jonah….” I forced a smile onto my face as I nudged his hand with the back of mine. “You should probably go see them before your vacation is over.”
The lids on his light brown eyes slowly lowered. “You want me to go?”
“I don’t want you to go, but I’d understand if you did. You said it yourself that you had plans to see them, didn’t you?”
He didn’t respond, which confirmed that yeah, he’d had plans.
Of course he would. More guilt stirred up my chest.
“They’re your family. My soul would probably die if I didn’t get to see Grandpa or Peter every once in a while. And you’ve been in France, what? At least since you were cleared to play again? So what’s that been? At least five months?” I forced another smile onto my face. “You should go. I get it. Mo will understand.”
Jonah gave me a long look over his shoulder before nudging my hand back with his. “I was planning on going home to help at my granddad’s farm,” he finally said. “It’s what I do for a few weeks every holiday, Lenny. And you’re right, family is important. Family is the most important.” He glanced at me again, the edge of his mouth tilting up as he made a noise that sounded a hell of a lot like a sigh. “But you and Mo are my family too.”
Should the f-word out of his mouth have felt the way it did? Like a sharp, thin knife sliding straight into my gut in a good way? Was that normal?
“I’ve told you. I’ve missed too much time.” His hand nudged mine again a moment before his fingers wrapped around mine loosely. “Too much, love. I’ll make it up to them for missing out on this holiday, but they would want me here. They would understand why this is where I need to be.”
This is where he needed to be.
Here.
I hated him as much as I didn’t hate him. That was the truth. The annoying truth.
All right, I didn’t hate him at all.
And because I would never admit that, I reached forward, trying my best to ignore the ache in