pulled a blanket over Mo with my free hand and swallowed up every inch of that sweet, sweet face. “What?”
“I meant to tell you before my mum arrived….”
My stomach churned. Why did I always have to expect the worst?
“I want to start sharing Mo’s existence.”
Oh. I had a feeling I knew what he meant, but…. “What does that mean?”
“I know my mum. She would have already called my dad and told him. Word will get out sooner than later. There will be questions, there’s no stopping that, but I don’t want to make it seem like I’m hiding her. She’s no secret, and I’m thinking we should front foot, that way we can control it so the journos don’t.”
I wanted to wonder why the hell people would care if he had a child or not, but I knew better than that. I had been on his social media accounts. His Picturegram account alone had four hundred thousand followers. I’d read some of the comments, his followers even got into arguments over his hair when he got it cut.
Of course some people would care about him having a daughter. He still sold papers. Magazines. Ads on websites.
“I’d like to keep the details as vague as possible, and I’m sure there will be criticism—on me—but this is between us. The whole story, at least. People will ask questions and look you up. I’ve got nothing to hide, but I don’t want to put you into a situation you wouldn’t want to be in either. I’ll try to protect you from the media as much as I can.”
Drawing my hands back toward me, I turned to Jonah and took in his face, tossing and turning his words over in my head. He didn’t want to hide Mo’s existence, and that made me happy. I understood why he hadn’t told anyone else about her until now. But how did we handle the rest of it?
I hadn’t taken into consideration what it would be like for him to suddenly show the world this adorable baby and say, “She is mine,” out of the blue and there not be any questions. Of course there were going to be questions. He was one of the most high-profile and highest paid players in a sport that was played in dozens of countries. He couldn’t just say “Surprise!” and have people roll with it.
And he couldn’t have a child without a mom. Well, he could, but I wasn’t about to hide that Mo was mine. Especially not because I was afraid of people talking shit. Ooh. Let me shake in my flip-flops. What were they going to do? Look me up? What would people say about me? He could have done better? That I could be prettier?
Fuck ’em.
And, when I really thought about it, I wasn’t about to let people drag Jonah through the mud because of whatever they might think.
Fuck that.
But…
There was the part that had nothing to do with me and what I wanted. This was his career. His lifetime of hard work.
And even though my chest suddenly ached at the idea that he would prefer to keep me hidden…. “I’m fine with you letting people know you’re a dad and that you have Mo, but I don’t know what you want to do about me in the equation. I know you keep a lot private”—I knew this from my brief period as a hormonal stalker, whatever—“and I get it, you know I do. So, I guess it’s up to you what you want to do about me.”
He blinked.
“If you don’t want people to know I’m in the picture. For the future.” I swallowed and then added hastily, “But I’m not going to lie if somebody asks. I’d just tell them it’s none of their business with maybe a cuss word or two thrown in there. Just warning you.”
He blinked again, and a tiny part of me wanted to squirm for the first time in my life.
“You know, that you had her with me,” I threw in before making myself shut the hell up.
Those long lashes dipped down over his cheeks, and Jonah pinned me with a gaze that felt heavier than any body I’d ever tried throwing in my life. His words held the same weight. “I only said that because I thought maybe you wouldn’t want anyone to tie you to me. I’m the one who lives with the criticism. It’s always going to be there, at least while I play.