Bereft - Jennifer Foor Page 0,74

joined me.

Kissing him was easy, comfortable even. I’d practiced doing it so many times I could do it effortlessly. In that moment there were no affairs or conflicts. It was just the two of us, connecting the way we used to.

In those few minutes everything became clear again, except this time I wanted my life back; the one I shared with Grayson.

Before things went too far, Grayson backed away. It gave me time to think about what would happen if we continued. Since I’d been with Chad earlier, I felt it necessary to halt what was happening. “We need to stop,” I whispered against his lips.

“Why?”

It broke my heart to tell him. “Trust me. It’s best if we take this slow. I promised you the weekend. Let’s take our time. Just be here with me. Pretend nothing else exists except for us.”

“You were with him today, weren’t you?” His accusations made my stomach curl. I could feel my dinner making an unexpected presence. How could he know me so well?

“No,” I lied.

“Rachel, I know when you’re keeping the truth from me.” He got up and left the room. I adjusted my shirt and went after him, praying I could calm him down.

“Don’t be angry. I didn’t want to come. I was in denial. I wasn’t ready.”

“This was a mistake. You keep blaming me, but you’re the one who gave up on us. You’re the one,” he repeated.

I was a sobbing mess. “You’re right. It’s my fault. I should have given it more time. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to fall for another man to hide my true feelings for you. I did it. All of it. Blame me for our marriage ending, Grayson, go ahead. I know it’s what you want, so the burden is off of your conscience.”

“I never said I was innocent.”

I cried into my hands, silently pleading with God to strike me with lightning and end the pain. I couldn’t handle it any longer. I wanted it to disappear, no matter how I needed to make it happen. “We can’t keep doing this. Trying isn’t getting us anywhere. Grayson, you’ll always have a piece of my heart, but it’s obvious we can’t make it work. Too much has happened. We’ve both made mistakes, and now we have to suffer the repercussions. Just face it, our marriage was over weeks ago, and there’s nothing we can do to get it back.”

Then it happened. We stood out on the porch holding each other as we broke down. This was our goodbye – the end of something we thought could last forever.

Chapter 32

Grayson

My plan had backfired. We left the cabin Saturday morning, after staying up all night in separate rooms. I should have known it would end this way, but I couldn’t have imagined how unbearable it would feel.

Rachel had moved on. She’d probably be happy with her new beau. He seemed like a nice guy, and they obviously shared similar interests.

As for me, I’d spend the rest of my days alone. There would never be another woman who could give me what she could. I’d never love someone like I love her. No matter how much time would pass, I knew she was it for me.

After I dropped her off at her car, I drove straight to the house. Surprisingly, I pulled into my driveway to find my daughter there. Normally I would have frowned upon visitors after such a shitty night, but I welcomed her friendly smile when I opened the door. “What are you doing home, Dad? I thought you said you rented the place until Sunday.”

I frowned. “It didn’t work out the way I thought it would.”

“What do you mean?” I could tell she was sad by my news. Stephanie loved our family, so the idea of it breaking up permanently was terrible news.

“Your mom and I can’t get past what’s been done. We both made mistakes, and sometimes they’re too involved to forgive.”

“What do you mean, both? What did Mom do?”

I felt worse. Obviously Rachel hadn’t told Stephanie about her little boy toy. “Sweetie, your mom has been seeing someone. She’s moved on.” I had to clench my jaw to keep my composure. “Our marriage is over, and there’s nothing any of us can do. We made the choice together. I want you to know that. It wasn’t easy, but we did it together. It’s best for all of us if we get past it and move forward with our lives. No more living without