Bereft - Jennifer Foor Page 0,71

outside to cook. After several trips, the food was ready to eat.

Dinner was finally served, and once we were sitting across from one another I felt anxious again. Rachel began cutting up her fish, while I focused on filling her glass and keeping her content. I’d opened the doors to the back porch and a light breeze was blowing in. The candles lit so we were able to see made for a good ambiance. “I’ll probably light a fire after dinner. It might get chilly.”

“Let me guess, it’s the only source of heat.”

“You’d be right,” I said while aiming my fork toward her. “It adds a bit of tranquility, don’t you think?”

“I think you’re planning on getting me on that rug over there. It’s not going to happen.”

I bit my tongue to keep from saying something that could offend her. “You know me better than that, Rachel. I’d never push.”

She raised her brow. “Really? So how was it that you got Kyla to sleep with you? What did you promise her? Did you buy her extravagant gifts? Did you promise her stability?”

“No. It’s not like that at all.” I shook my head and placed my fork down on my plate. “I told you before, I never came onto Kyla, not even once. She came after me. She basically threw herself at me. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Not one time did I ever think about her in any other way aside from being Steph’s friend. I never asked for this to happen. I know it did, and I can’t turn back time, but I’m begging you to let it go. She means nothing to me. She never did. I fucked her, just like you fucked your friend. You say it’s not the same, but isn’t it? You waited how many days to turn to someone else?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it without saying anything.

“Don’t forget I saw you through the window, Rachel. It doesn’t matter if you were acting out or seeking revenge. You fucked someone else, and I’m pretty sure you still are. You think it doesn’t rip me to shreds?”

“I know it does,” she argued. “I know I’ve hurt you. You still cheated though.”

“Rachel, we’re still married. Telling me you want a divorce doesn’t make it legal. You are still my wife. We’ve gone longer without being together before. This isn’t irreparable. You know it isn’t. Stop running away from me. I need you, and I think you need me to.”

“You’re wrong.”

“About what part?”

“About me needing you. I’ve done fine since we’ve parted ways, Grayson. In fact, I’ve never been happier. You want to pull Chad into the conversation, let me just tell you how amazing he’s been. He’s always there for me. He has my back, even when it comes to forgiving you. He told me to come on this trip. Could you be that unselfish? Would you be willing to let me go for someone else?”

“I can’t compete.” I shook my head. It was obvious she wasn’t going to give in. It was always her way or none at all. “No matter what I say to you, you’ve made your mind up already.”

I couldn’t control my emotions. Instead of finishing my food, I stood and threw my napkin on my plate, then walked outside, where I let go, not caring if she could hear me or not.

Chapter 31

Rachel

I never should have opened my mouth. I’d gone and broken his heart again. Bringing Chad into our conversation was a huge mistake. Grayson would never be able to look past it when I kept throwing it in his face.

I missed Chad. If I were at a cabin in the woods with him we’d spend it in each other’s arms. However, knowing I was this close to Grayson, the declared love of my life, I wondered if this wasn’t right where I was supposed to be.

I took a couple bites of the food he’d prepared just for me. My teeth were chattering, and if I listened closely I could hear him bellowing out his pain on the porch. I sat there for a couple seconds thinking about what he’d been through. Was he right? Was I doing the same thing to him? If so, how could I have been so insensitive? How could I have let myself fall for someone else when the one person I needed to love me was waiting for me to come back to him?

I hated myself.

Before I