Bereft - Jennifer Foor Page 0,7

you couldn’t give a shit before, you know, all the nights you brought your damn computer to bed with you, and denied me affection. Did you think I could live like that forever?”

“You bastard! You could have come to me – talked to me like a committed husband should. You made the choice to sleep with someone else. You did this!” I could have killed him. His affair wasn’t to get my attention. People didn’t do that, not to the ones they love.

“I’ll leave, but this isn’t over. I won’t let you take this away from me, Rachel. I’ve worked too hard for everything we have. We’ll fix this. You’ll get over it. I need you to. I’ll end things with Kyla. It was never serious for me. I was flattered she found me attractive. One thing led to another and I couldn’t help myself. You would have done the same thing had you been in my situation. Imagine being pushed away, feeling like you weren’t attractive anymore. I made bad choices, because for once I wanted to feel alive again. You can hate me for it, but that’s the truth. You’re the only woman I’ll ever love. I promised you that, and I mean it. You got me through the worst of times. I owe you everything. I won’t let you push me away.”

“You also promised to be faithful, asshole.”

“You’re right. I did. You made promises too, babe.” Grayson seemed sincere while he was speaking, as if he truly was being honest about his feelings. “I’ll give you a couple days to calm down. I’m not asking for you to understand, I’m not even asking for forgiveness. I made the choice to sleep with her. I know my sins.” I looked into his eyes and saw he was beginning to tear up. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I never wanted you to know. In my mind I thought I could get it out of my system without causing strain on our relationship.”

“I’m not ready to talk about this, Grayson. I can’t.” I shook my head and wiped my watered eyes. “I can’t do this right now, not today. Please, I need to be alone.”

Grayson marched up the stairs with his head down. I couldn’t watch him gather his overnight bag and leave the property. Instead I went out into the sunroom and buried my face in a pillow. Some things were better left unsaid, at least until I could figure out what to do in response. I needed time, and possibly a divorce attorney. My gut feeling was to end my marriage, but I knew in time I’d miss him. After being married to someone I felt was my soul-mate, I wasn’t ready to throw it away for an affair. I was too strong to give up what I had, especially after losing so much. I could have given him more attention. I could have been more understanding when it came to his needs. Instead I’d pushed him away, thinking he didn’t mind. I wondered how many nights he wished he were away from me? It hurt now to think about. In some ways maybe I had pushed him right into her arms.

While bawling my eyes out, I focused on the good in my life – our daughter. She was a perfect example of the love our family represented. I wanted to go back to a time where we were all so happy and have a do-over, because I knew no matter how hard I tried I’d never get the image of him fucking Kyla out of my mind.

Chapter 3

Grayson

“You heard what I said, Kyla. It was a mistake. I never should have gotten involved with you. I’ve ruined my marriage and possibly the relationship I have with my daughter. I need you to understand this and move on.” I felt like a father scorning his child for making a mistake. The idea of it made me sick inside. I’d watched this girl grow into a young woman, never once assuming she’d get involved with me. Sure, I found her attractive. I wasn’t living in a cave. Lots of people were attractive. That didn’t mean I wanted to sleep with them.

When Kyla first came onto me it was out of the blue. My daughter had been visiting and she’d spent the night with her. That next morning, when my daughter had to head back to school, Kyla slept in. My wife left for work shortly