Bereft - Jennifer Foor Page 0,62

to try to reconnect. The problem was, I didn’t know if I wanted to get back what we had.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being married. Grayson was a good husband, up until he slept with Kyla. Since I’d been seeing Chad I kept myself preoccupied, but sometimes at night, as I lay next to him, I wished Grayson was the person beside me. I missed him.

For the rest of the day I kept the invitation out of my mind. It wasn’t until I went back to Chad’s apartment when I began thinking about it again.

Chad had ordered us Chinese. We sat at the kitchen island eating out of the boxes. “How was your day?” He asked in between chews.

“Busy. I got an invitation for a couples retreat from Grayson.”

His brows raised. “Wow. Did you respond?”

“No. Why would I?” I wanted to know why Chad would even ask.

“Because he’s still your husband and you have residual feelings for him. Maybe some time together would help you make your mind up.”

“My mind up? I thought I already had.”

“It’s not how I see it. Rach, you’re still in love with him.”

I don’t know why talking about this made me uncomfortable. Chad was always open with me. We were friends, yet I felt like it was something more; something stronger. “He was my husband. Of course I have feelings for him.”

“It’s more than that, and in case you’ve forgotten, you’re still married.”

“On paper.”

“Legally,” he added.

“So, you think I should have a weekend away with him? What good would it do?”

He sat his box down and used a napkin to wipe his lips. “It will either give you closure, or a second chance to make it work. Being in limbo isn’t anyway to live your life. You and I both know you haven’t seen a divorce lawyer. There’s a reason for that.”

I wanted to ask him about us. I wanted to talk about how I’d felt while staying with him for almost a month. I wanted to talk to him about our relationship, because there obvious was something happening between us, but Chad acted oblivious. “I think you’re wrong. I don’t want to be alone with Grayson.”

“It’s a couple days out of your life. What can it hurt?”

He had a point. If I didn’t want Grayson it would be closure. If my heart was still torn at least I’d stop wondering. I think the biggest hurdle for me was the fact that Chad didn’t seem annoyed. He was pushing me to go, which made me feel like I meant nothing to him. To test out the theory, I decided to go ahead and give Grayson a couple days. I didn’t have to be intimate to spend time with him. It was just a weekend. “Fine. I’ll tell him I’ll go.”

“I think you’ll figure out what you want to do, Rach. Don’t you want to make a final decision?”

I shrugged. “I suppose it’s time.”

Chad agreed and headed into the bedroom to shower, leaving me alone with the rest of my food. I waited until I heard him go into the bathroom to pull out my phone and message Grayson. I don’t know why I felt so torn, but I knew I was about to figure it out.

Chapter 26

Grayson

Going a month without seeing my wife was something I never thought would happen. I could remember missing her after only a couple days. Now, the inevitable was staring me in the face. She might never come back to me.

Two weeks after Rachel left me I started seeing a psychiatrist. I chose a female doctor, because to some degree I needed to have a woman’s perspective. I wanted to know it was possible for a female to sympathize with my situation.

After two sessions she suggested I invite my wife to go on a couples retreat. I was skeptical, especially since Rachel hadn’t wanted to be in the same room with me. I couldn’t imagine her agreeing to see me for a longer period of time.

That’s when I decided I needed to ask her in person. I got in my car and drove to her office, adamant on making her see how important it was for us.

I never expected to run into someone I recognized from being with her the night we split up. As soon as I saw him my heart began to race. Anger filled a void that had been replaced with despair for too long. I’d never wanted to haul off and hit a guy like