Bereft - Jennifer Foor Page 0,20
had a right to know. “I need to go so I can finish up. I can’t wait to see you.”
I hung up before she could press me for information. It was best to elude the truth until we were face to face.
I knew she’d hate me. There was no doubt in my mind my news would break her precious heart. In order for me to make amends with Rachel, I’d have to get rid of Kyla. This was the right thing. Once Stephanie kicked her friend to the curb, I could focus on my marriage without having her stalking me.
I tried to call Rachel to let her know what I was doing, but as of late, she hadn’t been returning my messages. It was difficult thinking about her being home alone, shedding tears, and facing unbearable pain because of my actions. I deserved the cold shoulder. Hell, I deserved it if she filed for divorce. I’d have no one to blame but myself.
I drove to the campus in silence. I didn’t tune into the sport’s channel, or listen to music. My head had to be mentally prepared for what was about to go down. It wasn’t every day where I woke up and decided to break my child’s heart. She’d been through enough. Had I thought about that before making such poor decisions, I probably wouldn’t have been in this predicament.
When I arrived, I took notice of the young people making their way to and from the parking lot. They were just kids, yet I’d gotten involved with one. I felt sick to my stomach, not only because I’d done it, but because I enjoyed it. I was a pig. I didn’t deserve my wife.
It took me a few minutes to settle down to where I was able to get out of the car without breaking down. This event was already taking a toll on me, and it hadn’t even occurred yet.
Stephanie met me outside of her dorm. She was sitting on the steps peering down at her cell phone. I waited until I was right in front of her before speaking. She looked up with a huge smile on her face, stood and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s so good to see you. Is Mom working late? I figured you’d be together.”
She finally let go of my arms. I motioned for her to sit back down and took the spot on the steps next to her. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Is Mom okay? Oh my God did something happen to her?”
There was no easy way to start this. “Sweetie, your mom is okay. She’s not speaking to me at the moment, but she’s fine.”
“Why? Did you two have a fight? I thought when the teenager moves out of the house the parents party it up. Were you sticking together for my benefit, because I know for a fact Mom loves you very much.”
I appreciated her thoughts, but she could never be prepared for what I was about to say. “Your mother isn’t talking to me because of something I did. I hurt her, and to be honest, I’m not sure she’s going to forgive me.”
I was already beginning to get choked up. I covered my face to keep the people passing by from noticing. My daughter put her hand on my shoulder. “Dad what did you do? Are you having financial problems? Is your job in danger?”
“No. I wish it were that simple.” I took a few breaths and let it out. “I had an affair.”
“What?” I could tell she was shocked. “When? Why? I thought you were happy.”
“I am, I was. I got caught up in the excitement of it. I never planned it, and I certainly didn’t mean for it to continue.”
“So Mom knows?” She asked.
“Yes.” I began to cry. “She caught me.”
Steph tucked her arm inside mine and held it there. She leaned her head on my side. “Please don’t cry, Daddy.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve ruined everything. Your mom didn’t deserve this, and neither do you. I just thought it was best you found out from me.”
I finally calmed down and stopped being such a baby. I deserved this fate. Rachel would want the bystanders to call me a pussy and take away my dignity. I’d certainly done enough damage to her to warrant it.
“Do you love the woman?”
She still didn’t know who I’d been with. “No! Absolutely not. There were never feelings for me. It was just sex.”
“How did Mom find