THE BENNETTS' CHRISTMAS (The Bennett Family and the Masters Family #6) - Brenda Jackson Page 0,97
Not once have I ever made you feel like I wanted you to take Simone’s place. I fell in love with you for who you are.”
Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “The problem is, you don’t know who I am, Landon. I told you in the beginning what I wanted and what I didn’t. I’m not looking for love yet. I am not ready.”
“And you think you can control your emotions like that?”
“I intend to. You are a great guy and I owe you a lot, but I refuse to allow you to try and make me feel something I don’t. I can’t love you, Landon.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Doesn’t matter. They both mean the same.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, but just stood there, staring at her. Finally, he said, “In that case, I wish you a happy life, Monica.” Then he turned and walked off the balcony.
Monica held her breath until she heard her cabin door close shut. Then she finally allowed the tears to flow.
Landon’s hand balled into a fist at his side as he paced his cabin. How could Monica think he’d used her as a substitute for Simone? Simone’s name had rarely come up in their conversations, and it had definitely been Monica he’d been thinking of each and every time they’d made love. He knew what she was doing. He’d seen it enough as a cop. She had been looking for an excuse as to why they could not be together. And she’d decided to hone in on his former fiancée.
He forced himself to remain still for a moment. But that didn’t stop every cell in his body from vibrating in anger. For the past three weeks, he had courted her the way a man should court a woman—a woman he’d fallen in love with. They had spent their days together as well as their nights. He had shared more about himself with her than he’d told anyone, and she had told him about her days at work and about her dreams. They’d become close, really close. At least he’d thought they had.
He’d obviously been wrong to assume that all those days they’d spent together, meant something to her. He’d actually thought she was falling in love with him, the way he was falling for her, but he’d been wrong. Monica Bennett had certainly set him straight on that.
Did she not know she could still reach her dreams with him? He wasn’t asking her to give anything up. He figured it would be the perfect set-up, since she intended to return to Atlanta to attend Atlanta Clark when she began working on her PhD. And it wasn’t like he’d asked her to marry him next week. He’d merely told her he wanted to be part of her life. That what had started out as a cruise fling now meant more to him. Why couldn’t it have meant more to her, too?
His cell phone went off and he knew who it was—Zoe. She’d pretty much had left him alone on the cruise and he had appreciated that. Since tonight was the last night, he figured she was calling for details, and the first thing she would want to know would be if he’d met anyone. He couldn’t tell her that he’d fallen in love…with a woman who didn’t want him.
Knowing that if he didn’t answer, she would only call again later when he needed to start packing, he clicked on the phone. “What do you want, Zoe?”
There was a slight hesitation. “Am I interrupting anything?”
Did she honestly think he would tell her if she was? “Nope. I’m just starting to pack,” he said, dropping down on the loveseat in his room. This was certainly not how he envisioned his last night on the cruise.
“Did you enjoy your twenty-one days’ vacation?”
He couldn’t lie. “I enjoyed it immensely.”
“And did you meet someone?”
“I met a lot of people, Zoe.”
“Anybody you plan to invite to Christmas dinner?”
Her question reminded him that Christmas was next week. “Not a single person. Look, Zoe, I need to go.”
“Are you okay? You sound strange.”
No, he wasn’t okay. In fact, he was too damn old for this BS. He refused to let a woman like Monica, who was probably too young for him anyway, mess with his mind. She’d broken his heart to the point he felt it crumbling in his chest, but he refused to let her break him down every other way as well.