for fear of it all blowing up and Patrick coming to investigate the commotion. I can't sit here all day looking at him, though. 'I'm at work.' I say quietly and tightly. I've no faith in my feigned stanchness. He looks fit to burst with rage.
'Who was that?' He nods at my phone.
'You already know the answer to that question.' I say, placing my phone on my desk. Was his performance in front of Mikael anything to do with this? Mikael knows something and Jesse knows he does. That much is obvious.
'You won't see him again.' he grinds the words out, clearly and slowly.
Okay, now I'm very worried. 'Why?' I don't bother pointing out that Mikael is a client. He knows that and judging by the look on his face, he doesn't care.
'You just won't. It's not a request, Ava. You won't defy me on this.' He starts chewing that fucking lip, still brooding, still shaking with anger.
I can't do this here - not in the middle of my office. I also can't withdraw from the Life contract. I'm totally fucked - completely fucking screwed. I need a drink, more now than ever. 'I'll see you at Lusso.' I say quietly.
'Yes, you will.' He turns and stalks out.
I flop back in my chair and release a long rush of breath that I hadn't realised I was holding. Life with Jesse is a frigging roller coaster and now he's stropped off, I'm going to be worried about him for the rest of the afternoon. I'm bursting with uncertainties, but I know one thing for certain. I'm not going back to Lusso tonight. I need time, clear thinking space to sort myself out before I'm landed with more shit. He answers a question, then another pops up.
'Gosh, that man can do a sexy brood,' Tom chirps. 'Been back to The Manor lately, darling?' He lowers his glasses, and I know immediately that Victoria isn't as stupid as we all think she is. Victoria starts giggling for the first time in two days.
I want to rant at her and accuse her of prissiness, and then tell Tom to get a personal shopper fast, but that would be childish, and I don't know if I can trust myself to stop there. I feel fit to burst with frustration and stress, so whoever is unlucky enough to tip me over the edge will be copping it in a big way. Luckily for Tom and Victoria, Patrick saves their bacon before I let loose on them.
'Flower,' he says as he perches on the corner of my desk. It creaks its customary protest, I wince my customary wince and Patrick performs his customary ignorance. 'Now, Mikael Van Der Haus has been in touch and insisted on a research trip to Sweden.'
Oh fuck. I didn't see that coming.
After being awarded the design contract at Lusso, Mikael's partner had insisted on genuine Italian everything, so I was sent to Italy on a research and sourcing trip. Mikael has stressed his desire for sustainable materials on Life, but I didn't anticipate this.
The complexity of this proposal hits me hard in the stomach. The fact that the trip will be in aid of Mikael's project will probably send Jesse to the grave, and if I go by what has just transpired, I will probably be in that grave with him.
'Is it really necessary?' I ask. Please say no, please say no.
'Absolutely, Mikael insisted on it. I'll look at flights.' He creaks his way back up from my desk and takes himself back to his office.
Mikael insisted? I'm in trouble here. There is not a chance in hell that I'll get to Sweden, not with Jesse to stop me, and then where will that leave me? I know where...job-less, that's where. I break out in a sweat.
'Coffee, Ava?' Sally appears from the stationary cupboard, looking as miserable as she did earlier. I need wine desperately.
'No thanks, Sally.' I answer.
I look up and see Tom and Victoria with their heads down. Good. I can spend the rest of the afternoon worrying about my life drama in peace. I suddenly wish I didn't have to pick my stuff up after work. Seeing Matt is the last thing I want to do.
'Here you are, flower. Some flight details. Let me know what suits.' He hands me a print out of scheduled flights and I shove it in my bag. I'll think about that later. He leaves me in peace and I feebly try to carry