don't tend to get caught up in conversation and life stories when you're just fucking someone.'
I wince at the reminder of his dabbling days that have only recently ended. 'Don't say things like that.' I warn.
He tugs me towards the bed. 'Sit.' he orders, pulling me down. He takes a steadying breath. 'The last time I saw my parents it didn't go particularly well. My sister was a bit underhanded and set us up to meet. My father had a rant, my mother got upset and I got very drunk, so you can imagine how it ended.'
Oh? Jesse drunk? I don't envy anyone who's had to endure a round of abuse from a drunken Jesse. 'So your sister obviously wants you to make amends.' My voice is small but hopeful.
'Amalie is a bit stubborn,' he sighs, and I laugh on the inside. Like brother like sister! 'She won't accept that too much has happened, too many harsh words exchanged over the years.' He looks up at me and I see anguish in his eyes. 'It's not fixable, Ava.'
'But they're your parents.' I can't imagine my life without my Mum and Dad. 'You're their son.'
He offers me a half smile, a smile that suggests I just don't get it, which is fine because I absolutely don't. Everything is fixable.
He sighs. 'That invitation only arrived because my sister sent it behind my parent's backs. They don't want me there. Their address was scrubbed off and replaced with Amalie's.'
'But Amalie obviously wants you there. Don't you want to see her get married?'
'I would love to see my little sister get married, but I also don't want her wedding ruined. If I go, it will end only one way. Trust me.'
'What happened to make it like this?'
His shoulders drop spectacularly and he starts circling his thumbs over my hands. I can see this is painful for him which makes it all the more frustrating to me because it shows that he does care.
'You already know that Carmichael left me The Manor when he died. Of course, when I told you that, you thought it was a hotel.' He raises his eyebrows in a semi amused gesture. I roll my eyes. Okay, so I was blind as a bat. I want to point out that it was his fault I was walking around completely oblivious, but I don't. I let him continue. 'Things were already strained after they moved to Spain and I chose to stay with Carmichael. I was eighteen, living at The Manor and I understand that it was any parent's worst nightmare.' He laughs lightly. I can imagine too. 'I slipped into a playboy lifestyle and fell harder when Carmichael died. If it wasn't for John, there probably wouldn't be a Manor. He practically ran it while I gorged on too much drink and too many women.'
'Oh.' I whisper. He gorged? I prefer dabbled.
'I calmed it down, but my parents offered me an ultimatum; The Manor or them. I chose The Manor. Carmichael was my hero, I couldn't sell up.' He finishes his little speech with utter finality.
'Your parents knew you were carrying on...' I clear my dry throat. 'Well, like you were.' I can't say it. It makes me feel sick.
'Yes and they predicted it, so you see, they were right and they've never let me forget it. I've lived a pretty sordid lifestyle, I admit that. Carmichael was the family black sheep. No one spoke to him and the family disowned him. They were embarrassed of him and then he died and I filled the shoes of the black sheep. My parents are ashamed of me. That's it.'
I recoil at the last part. 'They shouldn't be ashamed of you.' That kind of makes me mad.
'It's just the way it is.' He shrugs.
'So you've known John a long time?' If he helped run The Manor in the early days, we're talking sixteen-ish years.
'Yes, a long time.' he smiles fondly. 'He was great friends with Carmichael.'
'How old is he?'
He looks up and frowns. 'Fifty-ish, I think.'
'Well, how old was Carmichael?' I ask.
'When he died? Thirty one.'
'That young?' I blurt. I imagined him to be a long silver haired, tanned, smarmy type.
He laughs at my stunned face. 'There were ten years between my father and Carmichael. He was an afterthought on my grandparent's part.'
'Oh,' I do a quick mental calculation. 'So, there was only ten years between you and Carmichael too.'