I press my forehead against Reed’s and exhale. “My love. I know all about your mother.”
His breathing hitches. “What do you mean?”
“I know your mother isn’t visiting a friend. I know she lives in a mental facility in Scarsdale. And I know and understand why you don’t like to talk about that.”
Reed has turned into a trapped animal, looking for a way out. With a soft whisper of reassurance, I caress his chiseled face. Kiss his cheek. Skim his lips with mine. “You don’t have to spill your guts to me about her. Or about anything else that’s been hard for you in your life. You’re a private person, and I get that. I respect it. But you can’t flat-out lie to me anymore, okay? Those days are over. We don’t lie to each other about anything. You don’t want to talk about something? You say so. But you will not lie. And neither will I. Which is why I’m confessing to you: I know all about your mother. And your childhood. I know about Oliver. And the divorce. I know why your mother lives in that mental facility, and why she’s lived in one, almost continuously, since you were nine.”
Somewhere in the arena, Red Card Riot launches into their first song. But I don’t react. Because I don’t care if we miss this entire concert again. All I care about is making my beloved Reed understand that I love him unconditionally. For real. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I put my palms on his cheeks. “I’m not trying to force you to talk about this stuff with me. I just want you to know I love you. The real you. And, also, that I admire and respect you for overcoming so much to become the glorious man you are.”
Reed looks flabbergasted. “How the hell do you know all this?”
I tell him about the legal malpractice lawsuit—which, to my surprise, he knows nothing about. He asks me some questions about it, which I answer. He asks me how long I’ve known about his mother being in a facility, and I tell him I’ve known since almost day one, thanks to a conversation with Amalia, during which I coaxed her into revealing certain things without her realizing I didn’t already know them. “But I didn’t read the malpractice lawsuit until a few days ago,” I say. “That’s where I got a far more thorough understanding of your childhood and everything your poor mother’s been through.”
Red Card Riot begins playing their debut hit, “Shaynee,” in a distant part of the arena. My favorite RCR song. But, again, we don’t react.
“I’d like to read those documents from the legal malpractice case,” Reed says.
“Of course. You were so young during the divorce. I think reading them now will help you understand your mother, so much better. The deck has always been stacked against her, one way or another. I feel so bad for her.” Reed looks like he’s fighting his emotions, so I take his hand and bring his knuckles to my lips. “I think not talking about, or thinking about, things that are painful for you, has been your coping mechanism for a long time. I can relate. But, speaking for myself, I don’t want to do that anymore. Not with you. I want to tell you everything. I want to show you every part of me. And I’d love for you to do the same with me. Reed, when we say, ‘I love you’ to each other, I want us to know the word ‘you’ means ‘all of you.’ Not only the good parts we show everyone else.”
Reed’s Adam’s apple bobs.
I feel overwhelmed with love for him. “Do we have a deal? No more secrets?”
Reed opens his mouth like he’s going to say yes. But then he closes it and scowls. “No more secrets at all... about anything?”
I can’t help chuckling at his facial expression. It’s as if I’ve asked him to bring me a slice of the moon to put onto a cracker. “Correct. Zero secrets. No gray area.”
Reed looks dubious. “I don’t know, baby. Don’t you think that’s unrealistic? A guy’s got to have some secrets. At least, small ones.”
“Why? If they’re little ones, all the more reason not to have them. Let’s be open books.”
Reed scrubs his face and exhales.
“What is it?” I say. “Spit it out, already.”
He sinks into the couch in surrender. “Your necklace.”
“Those aren’t real rubies?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t insult me. Of course, they’re