the dry skin where her channeling had worn away the top layer. “I’ll go with Louis, then. I have training and frankly fear what Physician du Guay will do if he sees me.”
“Well, we’re divided.” Louis took a deep breath. “Let’s only hope the rest of Demeine doesn’t abandon us.”
All in all, after Louis and Charles had spoken to everyone who had agreed to help, we were sixty-two strong, and yet I wasn’t sure even that would be enough. It had to be. We had to be.
And whatever came next, we would be enough for too.
Charles had discarded his orange coat and pulled on the leather armor of a soldier who had left for home. Louis offered us each a vial of something mint-scented and blue that shot through us like lightning and jerked my body awake. Charles walked with him, talking about ingredients and methods. Madeline fell into step beside me as we searched the camp for supplies.
There was no armor that fit me. Madeline pursed her lips, rubbing the thin fabric of my worn shirt between her fingers. I held a helmet over her, waited for her to nod, and settled it on her head. The leather crushed her wrapped hair, but the flaps at least covered her ears and main artery. We even stole a pair of boots far sturdier than hers, the calves reinforced to keep the soldier wearing them safe, and I fiddled with the laces till Madeline could fit into them. It took both of us working to lace them up, me kneeling before her to make sure they fit right. I laid my cheek against her knee.
“Madeline,” I said softly, “are we friends?”
I wanted to hear her say it, needed to hear her say it. I had heard my mother mutter I love you between caustic comments about my clothes or interests or ever-growing list of failures, and most of my life had been the same—mild disinterest and confusion were the only things I elicited from anyone. Never friendship. Never love.
Lord, even if it were a lie, I still wanted to hear it.
Her fingers fell to my forehead as if she thought I had a fever. “Of course.”
I didn’t know what to say to that because it wasn’t a lie—Madeline was terrible at lying—so I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips to the back of her hand.
“Please don’t die.” I rose and straightened her helmet. “I want to see what glorious thing you do next with your life.”
Madeline dug her nails into my arm, not painfully; it was only enough for me to know she was there and not letting go.
“Hold on to that thought.” She wrapped her arms around me, far too tight for comfort, and didn’t let go till her hands started to shake. “I’m going to boss you around so much when we’re physicians.”
“You may try.” I hugged her back. “Let’s go.”
Charles fell back in step with us. “Physicians and hacks always stay out of the fight near the back, so we’ll have to circle around and hope they don’t notice.”
We stilled and let the others walk past us.
“I was supposed to be your hack anyway, wasn’t I? Anyone else would have forced you to use one.” I nudged his shoulder with mine and lingered. “At least now it’s for a good cause.”
He let out a short laugh through closed lips and nudged me back. “I’m not a good cause?”
“No, you’re a good person, but even the best people need help sometimes.” I couldn’t save everyone—it was noble arrogance to think I could or should even try when I had done so much damage already—but I could be a shield. I touched his hand. “Don’t panic about me wearing down. Don’t get distracted. You’re sweet to worry about everyone, but you can’t now. It’s fine.”
“It is not,” he said softly, taking my hand and holding me back even as the last group of soldiers walked ahead. “They don’t know you’re here and might think I left. If we don’t have numbers, we should at least have the element of surprise.” He blinked at me, autumn eyes wide, and leaned his forehead against mine. “I thought you hated sweet things.”
“I’ll make an exception.”
“Please don’t die.” He kissed the tip of my nose and squeezed my hand. “We haven’t finished our clinic competition yet.”
Shouts echoed over the hill before us. Charles pulled me toward our right, toward the river separating Segance from Kalthorne. From the tree line, we could see