Sitting up, he secured my hands over my head and gazed down at me.
“That coral didn’t slice your head open. How do I know this isn’t the concussion talking?” A ragged breath tore out of him. “You’re a drug I can’t quit, Belle. I accepted that somewhere around sitting in that waiting room thinking up the ways I’d murder Finn. I can deal with that. I can be yours for as long as you want to play with me.”
“Goodness,” I mumbled. “You make me sound like such a femme fatale.”
“I just need to know what you want from me,” he continued. “Let’s score points for honesty and communication.”
“Okay. That’s not too much to ask.” I propped myself up and a sharp spike went through my head. Nathan may be right about postponing the bed gymnastics. “Help me, please.”
He grasped my pillow, and moved it and me against the headboard. He placed it on my lap and then himself on top of it. His weight was comfortable and solid on top of me, soothing better than an Advil.
“I meant what I said about starting over—despite knowing it’s not that simple between us anymore. If you won’t marry me...”
Nathan shook his head. Once.
“It means you’ll have to focus on finding someone else,” I finished. “I’m sure you can find a girl who’d marry you just for the privilege of being Mrs. Prince, but it’s too much to ask her to watch you be in love with someone else all summer. Most women can deal with being business partners. Not a lot want to be second best.”
“What does that mean for us?”
“I think it means—and this is me going for full honesty—that we’d keep it quiet like me and Preston.”
“You and Preston,” he repeated slowly.
“He and I talked about everything.”
“Does he know about Malcolm?”
I cringed as I did at every mention of his name. “I told him my story but said it was someone else’s. Afterward, we talked about this summer and what we both wanted. He has to marry Delilah. He said it’s not right to expect me to stay away from other guys since we can’t have a future together.” I tapped the tip of his nose. “But you want some more truth? I made peace with not having a future with any guy a long time ago. What was the point of hoping when Mal would never stand by and watch me be happy with someone else?
“It’s a handful of times I ignored that question for a guy I knew was worth it. Two of those times were you.” I lifted my shoulders. “I want to be with you, Nathan. Even if we only have the summer. Even though I’m falling for Preston too. In spite of you walking off this island with someone else. It’s you.”
I finished on a wave of uncertainty. Preston was his best friend and I was essentially asking him to share me. “Say something.”
Nathan pushed up his lips, eyes rolling to the ceiling. “Okay.”
“Okay? Okay what?”
“Okay,” he said. “You want me. Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
“We have to stop saying that word,” I burst out.
He chuckled. “You can share me with every damn guy here, Belle. If it’s really cool with you and Preston, then it’s cool with me too.”
“Nathan, think about this. It’s not the exes-with-benefits package. I don’t want us to be like we were before. It may not be fair, but I can’t handle any less than the real thing.”
“Good because your ass was getting it.”
I let out an exasperated groan—though a smile quirked my lips. “It’s going to hurt when we say goodbye for a third time. Likely knock us on our asses for good.”
“It killed me to say goodbye to my dad, my grandmother, and, in many ways, my mom. But I wouldn’t trade a second with them for less pain now. It’s how you know you had people in your life who were worth a damn. There’s a lot of lonely bastards out there who’d give anything to have someone to miss. And every single one of them would line up to have their heart broken by you.”
I sniffed, eyes welling up. “I don’t feel like I’m offering you something that’s worth it. You’ve taken on enough pain to last twelve lifetimes.”
“Exactly.” Nathan laced my wringing hands through his. “Aren’t I due one last summer in love with you?”
Tears ran down my cheeks, catching and racing down the happy curve of my mouth. “I will need a rain check on the hot, monkey