Being Henry David - By Cal Armistead Page 0,58
is it?”
“Three thirty,” she says, and her eyes blaze again. I was supposed to be at her house at three o’clock. “Sam and Ryan are already there. Are you coming or what?”
I don’t know how to make any of this better other than to scramble and pull myself together and focus on her instead of my own pathetic life.
“Look, give me ten minutes to take a shower and get dressed, and I’ll go with you. Ten minutes, I promise.”
Hailey rolls her eyes and sits down in a wicker chair on the porch to wait for me, tossing her keys from one hand to the other.
After my shower, I comb my hair and peer at my face in the fogged-up mirror, trying not to see any trace of Danny there. When I’m with Hailey, there’s no room for Danny. Only Hank.
The guys already have their gear set up in Hailey’s basement when we arrive. Quickly, I hook up my guitar to the amp, and we start right in on our song. Even with the turmoil shredding my insides, I try to focus on the music. The smooth feel of the polished guitar under my hands. Electric buzz in my chest as I strum calloused fingers across the strings. My music, my escape.
As for the band, Sam is solid as always on the drums. Ryan, I don’t know. The dude still struggles.
“I thought you were going to practice this at home,” I say.
“I did,” he says. “At least, I meant to. I had a whole lot of trig homework to do this week.”
I shake my head. “Just do the best you can, okay? Let’s go through this again.”
After about the fifth time, he sounds a few degrees better. At least it’s progress.
“Okay, you guys,” Hailey says during a break. “Ms. Coleman asked me again about the name of our band. Any ideas?”
The room goes silent as we ponder this important detail.
“I know of this band called Seratonin. I always liked that name,” Ryan says.
“Nah. That sounds too science geeky to me,” Hailey says.
“Hailey and the Comets?” asks Sam. He smirks.
Hailey rolls her eyes. “I think that’s been done, Sam.”
“How about Carpe Diem?” I suggest. Everybody is quiet for a moment, thinking this over.
Carpe diem. It’s the philosophy I want to embody. Seize the day. It’s about putting all energy and attention into the present moment. This. Music and Hailey, and now. It’s what Thoreau meant by sucking out the marrow of life, but it sounds way less grisly than something like Marrow Suckers. Although that could work too.
“Hm. Carpe Diem. I like that,” Sam says. Slowly everybody nods in agreement.
“It’s perfect,” Hailey says and gives me this warm smile that shows me all is forgiven and she’s crazy about me again.
Carpe Diem rocks into the song one more time and for once, even Ryan doesn’t screw it up.
Hailey drops me off at “Uncle” Thomas’s house just as it starts to get dark. She stops the car at the curb, turns off the motor, and turns to look at me.
“Is everything all right, Hank?” she asks.
No, Hailey. Things are not all right. They’re bad, worse than you can imagine. “Well, I’m a little worried about Ryan.” I’m amazed that my voice sounds calm, even with my insides shattered into a million pieces. “He keeps messing up the bridge, no matter how many times I remind him of the chords.”
“He doesn’t want to look like a fool up there. He’ll get it.” She taps the steering wheel with purple polished nails. “Are you worried about me too?”
“No,” I say. She looks up at me, all hopeful, her eyes gleaming. “You have the most beautiful voice anybody is going to hear in that room on Saturday, Hailey. I know it, the band knows it, Ms. Coleman knows it. Anybody who’s ever heard you sing knows it.”
She wipes a tear from her cheek. “I feel so stupid,” she says.
“You’re not stupid, Hailey. Just take care of yourself this time.” I rub the back of my index finger across her soft cheek. “And if you get scared, just pretend it’s you and me, me and you, all alone in the white room, making music.”
Hailey tucks her arm into mine, snuggles her face into my shoulder. “Yeah. I like that. You and me, me and you,” she murmurs. “Maybe it’ll be okay after all.”
“Of course it will.” I lean my head against hers, breathe in the clean shampoo smell of her hair, trying to memorize every detail of