Behind the Plate (The Boys of Baseball #2) - J. Sterling Page 0,87
heart. I wanted clarification. I couldn’t do that if I jumped straight from him to you.”
Chance nodded. “That makes sense. I hate it, but it makes sense.”
I smiled softly before continuing, “I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to tell you, but then the semester was ending, and I was going home. And I didn’t want to start something when I was leaving for New York.”
“Danika, I would have started something with you if you were going to the moon. I just want to be with you.” Chance’s voice was so honest and vulnerable that it took everything in me not to crawl into his lap and kiss him again.
“I want to be with you too,” I admitted, and he reached out, his hand gripping one of mine.
“How did Jared take you breaking up with him? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to just let you go without a fight,” he asked like there was something he wasn’t saying.
“He was surprisingly okay with it at the time. At least, that’s how he acted. Like he had known it was coming. Like he’d half-expected it. I don’t know. I’d thought he’d be pissed, but it seemed like he couldn’t have cared less,” I said, remembering that the biggest fight he’d put up about our breakup was just the other day. “He didn’t act that way in New York though.”
Chance removed his hand from mine as he sat up a little straighter. “What do you mean?”
“He came to my house, unannounced, and basically said he’d given me enough time.”
“Enough time for what?”
“To come to my senses,” I said, hopefully sounding as disgusted as Jared’s words had made me feel.
“What’d you say?”
“I told him that I still meant what I’d said and that I didn’t want to be with him.”
“Is that true? You don’t have any lingering feelings for him? You guys were together a long time. I’m sure it’s not that easy,” Chance asked, and I understood why he did. They were the same questions I’d asked myself over and over again.
It had honestly caught me off-guard, the way I felt after the breakup. Part of what had kept me holding on for so long was the fear that I might be making a mistake or that maybe this was just a phase our relationship was going through and it wouldn’t always be this way. Jared had been by my side for so many years, and I was used to him being there, felt like I owed him loyalty. What if I ended things and regretted it? That question had haunted me.
“I don’t regret breaking up with him. I’d thought I might before I actually did it, but once I did, I felt relieved. I don’t want him back. And it’s extremely fucked up, but I don’t even miss him,” I added because it was the truth.
“You’re sure?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything.” I wanted Chance to know that there was no competition here and that Jared was not a threat to our future.
The second he had walked out of my apartment, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. My soul felt free and happy. The earth felt like she had opened all of her doors for me to do and be anything I wanted. I had known then that I’d made the right decision even if it had taken me way too long to make it. Better late than never.
“I can’t be a rebound, Danika. Not with you. This can’t be something you want to do to get it out of your system, and then you’ll go back to him after.”
Has he even been listening? I wondered before realizing something. “Are you feeling vulnerable right now?”
“I think so.” His eyes narrowed, and his expression shifted.
This was all new to him, and labeling his emotions wasn’t something he’d ever had to do before.
“It’s kind of sexy.”
“It doesn’t feel very sexy.” He shook his head, disagreeing with me, but he was wrong.
He looked so incredibly hot, sitting there with his heart in his hands, basically asking me not to break it without saying those exact words. I knew I needed to reassure him more, to let him know that I wanted to do this with him and only him.
“You could never be a fling. And this is not a rebound. Jared and I have been over for a long time, and we both knew it.”