Behind the Plate (The Boys of Baseball #2) - J. Sterling Page 0,54
button I had inside of me. Jared made me feel stupid whenever he brought up the subject, but Chance made me feel protected and desired.
“I don’t … I don’t know what to say,” I admitted honestly, stumbling over my own awareness.
“Is this a one-way thing?” He waved a finger between our two bodies, and I knew what he was asking.
What am I supposed to say? I had a boyfriend, and Chance was making me feel things I had no right to feel, asking me things I had no business answering.
“Please, Danika, I need to know at least that.”
“It’s never been a one-way thing,” I said on a shaky breath. It was all out in the open now, and neither one of us could take it back. “But we can’t do anything about it.”
His face soured. “You plan on staying with Jared forever? You going to marry this guy? Is that what you’re telling me?”
What? How have we gone from us having feelings for eachother to me marrying Jared?
Even though my gut response was to scream out, NO, at the top of my lungs, my body reacted defensively, as if it were being attacked. “I have no idea.”
“Danika, listen to me.” He turned in his chair, his body angling toward mine. “Your boyfriend’s a dick. He was rude as hell to you and—”
“Stop,” I demanded. “You don’t get to tell me about my relationship. You don’t get to have an opinion on something you know nothing about.”
“I just never pegged you for that type of girl, is all,” he sneered, and I had no idea what he meant.
“What type of girl?” I asked, repeating his words.
“The kind who gets off on being treated like shit. I thought you girls grew out of that phase after high school.”
“That’s it!” I yelled before pushing to my feet. “I can’t do this with you.”
He reached for my hand and pulled me back down to my chair, forcing me to sit. Our knees touched, and neither one of us moved to break the contact.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, but I still saw red.
“I can’t keep doing this with you for the rest of the semester,” I said before taking back everything I’d worked so hard to make with him. “I know I’m the one who pushed us to be friends, but I can’t be your friend, Chance.”
I realized in that moment that my hand was still in his. He leaned forward, our faces inches from one another. His lips were close enough that if I closed the gap just a fraction, they’d touch, and I’d finally know what his felt like.
“I never wanted to just be your friend.”
“I think you should find another tutor,” I said quietly, my eyes focused directly on his mouth.
His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and I swore I almost started drooling when he slowly pulled it between his teeth. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I could taste it. In all the time I’d dated Jared, I’d never been attracted to another guy. I’d never even considered the possibility. Until now.
“There is no one else, remember? I’ve already checked,” he admitted, and I was mesmerized by the way his lips moved and pursed together.
“You checked?” I averted my gaze from his mouth and watched as he nodded before leaning back, giving us space but not too much. “Why?”
“Because of this. You distract me. You tempt me. I fucking want you, and I don’t know how to stop.” He sounded breathless, and my mind instantly went to the bedroom, wondering if that was how he sounded when he was having sex.
I imagined his large body hovering over mine, all of his hard muscles flexing, begging to be touched.
“I want to kiss you, Danika. I want to make you forget that anyone else in the world exists, except you and me.”
I held my breath as the weight of his words crashed down around me.
“But I won’t. Because I’d hate myself for it after.”
“I’d hate myself too,” I conceded, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it as badly as you do.”
“Then, break up with him,” he said simply. “Break up with him, so I can finally know what you taste like. What you feel like. And so I can stop jerking off in the shower to make-believe bullshit images of you and have the real thing.”
He thinks about me in the shower? Why do I find that so hot?