Behind the Plate (The Boys of Baseball #2) - J. Sterling Page 0,106
at it as her fingernails dug into my shoulders like she was afraid to let go. We were two people, frenzied, unsure of what tomorrow would bring and choosing to live for the moment, taking everything that the other gave. And I gave her my all.
I’d give her anything she wanted, today, tomorrow, and forever, if she’d let me. I wondered if she knew that, and somewhere deep down, I knew that she did, even without me saying it. I really fucking hoped that my girl would choose me in the end because knowing that she would eventually move on and end up with someone else would be like breathing in dirt instead of oxygen for the rest of my life. A constant reminder of my loss, filled with pain and grit, all while slowly suffocating me. It sounded like a shit way to go.
Realizations
Danika
My heart ached with each step I took away from Chance’s truck and toward my apartment. I hadn’t felt anywhere close to this level of hurt when Jared and I broke up. I had felt relieved. But right now, the last thing I felt was an ounce of relief even though I knew that what Chance and I were doing was an incredibly mature and smart thing to do. I’d felt so grown-up that we were able to talk about things calmly instead of fighting over them the way I used to do with Jared.
I understood why Chance felt the way that he did and why he was concerned even if my heart hated it. It made sense to me, and even though it sucked that he could be so logical when it came to his emotions, I realized that I was trying to be logical too. Being a girl, I wanted Chance’s feelings for me to override every other thought in his head. But I knew that even if they did, he’d never admit it. Not while he was asking this of me.
What I hadn’t told Chance was that I was determined to figure out a solution for us. When he’d mentioned ending things, my heart had felt like it had cracked in two as I struggled to catch my breath. Every time he encouraged me to think about my future, I saw him standing there with me. There wasn’t one time when I pictured my life later on and he wasn’t included in it. As shocking as that had initially been to me, it was also extremely telling. I knew what I needed to do; I just wasn’t sure how.
Pulling open my front door, I stepped inside. The smell of chocolate chip cookies instantly hit my nose, and I swore I started to drool.
“Cookies?” I asked out loud, and Sunny peeked around the cabinets with a grin.
She looked all around me, clearly assuming that Chance would be with me, like usual. “I thought he’d want some sweets since he had such a bad game, but he’s not with you?” she asked, sounding utterly confused.
“No. He went home.” I rounded the corner and stood in the kitchen, watching her.
“Oh. I didn’t peg Chance for one of those guys,” she said, scooping out more batter and setting it onto the pan.
“One of what kind of guys?”
“The kind of baseball player who got super pissed after a bad game and wanted to be alone to sulk in his misery instead of carrying on with his life,” she stated like she was some sort of expert on athletes.
I decided to be frank. “He tried to break up with me,” I said the words super fast, unable to hold them in a second longer.
The spoon clanged against the countertop as it dropped, and I stared, watching it bounce and twirl before falling to the floor with an even louder sound.
“Because of his game? Whoa, he’s really over the top.” She bent down to pick up the spoon, tossing it into the sink before pulling open the drawer and grabbing a clean one.
“It wasn’t because of the game. He saw Jared this morning.”
Sunny snarled, “So what? Who cares?”
“Jared said some things, and they didn’t sit well with Chance,” I tried to explain before wondering if I was oversharing things that should have stayed between him and me. But Sunny was my best friend, and girls needed to talk about things with each other. It was how we survived.
She popped out her hip—her annoyed stance. “What kind of things?”
“He told him that I’d give up my future for him. And shit