Behind Dead Eyes (DC Ian Bradshaw #2) - Howard Linskey Page 0,29
you can say “Sorry, wrong number.” She didn’t own a mobile phone. Why would she need one? Rebecca was basically a housewife. She could hardly justify asking him for a mobile when she didn’t have any cause to use one, except to go behind his back with somebody. He would have suspected her straight away. He didn’t keep regular hours like normal guys. Sometimes he was away for days at a time or he’d show up suddenly without warning. We wondered if he did that just to test her. If she was at home when he came back then fine, but if she was out, she’d get the third degree; Where had she been and who was she with? If she was alone, which stores did she go to, if she was with friends who were they, if they went to lunch together what did everybody have? It used to drive her crazy, he was so controlling and he never trusted her.’
‘So you used your dead-letter drop to arrange meetings down Lonely Lane.’
‘Yes, but I didn’t arrange to meet her that day.’
‘Then why would she go there?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Was she seeing someone else?’
‘God, no.’
‘You’re certain about that?’ Bell nodded. ‘And you definitely didn’t arrange a meeting for the day she was murdered?’
‘Positive. I wouldn’t forget a meeting with her. They took some setting up for one thing and …’
‘Go on.’
‘Well, they were memorable.’
‘Because of the sex?’
‘Yes,’ Bell answered defiantly, ‘but not just that. We had a connection.’
‘Did you love her?’
‘Rebecca?’
Tom nodded. ‘It’s a legitimate question. I’m not just being nosey.’
‘I suppose I did.’
‘You suppose you did?’
‘I’m not sure I know what that word means. I’m not convinced I ever did. There were times when I was meeting Rebecca and I would be so excited I could actually feel my heart beating in my chest – but is that love or was it lust? Then afterwards I’d be driving away from her, feeling completely content except for wondering when I would be able to see her next. Is that love? Perhaps it is.’
‘And did she love you?’
There was no hesitation this time. ‘Yes.’
‘She said so?’
‘She used the word.’
‘And did you use the word?’
‘Is this relevant?’
‘I don’t know yet – but I suspect I may have to ask you far more embarrassing questions than this before we are through, so why don’t you just answer?’
‘No, yes, in a way.’ And he sighed, ‘I used to routinely answer “Me too” or “So do I” and on occasion maybe “Love you too.” ’
‘But you’d say it quick, like you were making light of it?’
‘Perhaps,’ he admitted.
‘Women notice that kind of thing,’ Tom told him.
‘I know,’ answered Bell, ‘I understand women, believe me. I just always associated the word love with something permanent and I didn’t see how we could ever be a permanent thing.’
‘Why not? I’m serious. If she loved you, she could have left her husband and you could have asked your wife for a divorce.’
‘You make it sound very simple.’
‘It could have been.’
Bell shook his head. ‘What would we live off; fresh air? If I tried to divorce Annie I’d be out of a job like that,’ and he clicked his fingers. ‘If Rebecca left her old man he’d tangle her up with lawyers for years. He has money squirreled away all over the place, some in bank accounts in Jersey, property abroad, that kind of thing.’
‘You still could have done it though,’ Tom persisted, ‘made a clean break, started somewhere else, if you really wanted to.’
‘Yeah, well, perhaps we were just lazy then.’ His voice softened. ‘And I had the girls to think about.’
‘And how do you feel about them?’ asked Tom. ‘Your girls, I mean.’
His reply was instant. ‘I love them more than life.’ Tom decided not to pursue Bell further on that.
‘Wasn’t it all a bit elaborate though?’ he asked instead. ‘Leaving messages for each other in a wall?’
‘I could hardly write letters to her or leave notes next to the frozen peas in her local supermarket.’
‘But you used to see her down the sports club?’
‘That’s how we met, but I was never really alone with her there. There’s always someone around. If a married woman is seen at the bar or on a tennis court more than once with the same guy everybody just assumes they are screwing. They love a bit of gossip down there. They have money, they don’t work and they’re bored. They love to catch someone doing something they shouldn’t.’