Bed of Roses Page 0,89

and pick up bread and milk. Then you blink and you're fucking fifty and falling asleep in the Barcalounger watching reruns of Law and Order ."

Del said nothing for a minute, just continued to study Jack's face. "That's an interesting roundup of the next twenty years of Carter's life. I hope they named one of the kids after me."

"That's the way it goes, isn't it?" What was this panic, this spurt of it rising up in his chest? He didn't want to think about it. "The good part is Mac won't be coming to you to file for divorce because it'll probably work for them. And she's not the type to freak out because he's heading out to Poker Night or hit him with the 'you never take me anywhere' routine."

"And Emma is?"

"What? No. I'm not talking about Emma."

"No?"

"No." Jack took a deliberate breath, found himself mildly shocked by his own babble. "Things with Emma are fine. They're good. I'm just talking in general."

"And in general, marriage is Barcaloungers and minivans, and the end of life as we know it?"

"Could be a La-Z-Boy and a station wagon. I think they're going to make a comeback. The point is, Mac and Carter will do okay with that. So . . . good for them. Not everybody can make it work."

"Depends on the dynamic, for one thing."

"Dynamics change. That's why you're doing a deposition tomorrow." Calmer now, he shrugged. "People change, and the elements, circumstances, situation all evolve."

"Yeah, they do. And the ones who want it enough keep working at it through the evolutions."

Puzzled, and unaccountably annoyed, he scowled at Del. "Suddenly you're a fan of marriage?"

"I've never been an opponent. I come from a long line of married couples. I figure it takes a lot of guts or blind faith to go into it, and a lot of work and considerable flexibility to stay in it. Considering Mac and Carter, and their backgrounds, I'd say she's the guts, he's the blind faith. It's a good combination."

Del paused, considered his beer. "Are you in love with Emma?"

Panic spurted again. He washed it back with beer. "I said this wasn't about her. Us. Any of that."

"And that's bullshit, Jack. We're sitting here having a last beer after a night where you came out on top and I hit near the bottom. Instead of ragging me, you're talking about marriage, and deep-sea fishing. Neither of which have ever been of particular interest to you."

"We're dropping like flies. You said it yourself."

"Sure I did. And we are. Tony's coming up on three, maybe it's four years now. Frank took the plunge last year, Rod's engaged. Add in Carter. I'm not involved with anyone in particular right now, and neither's Mal as far as I know. That leaves you, and Emma. Given that, it'd be surprising if Rod's little announcement didn't get your gears turning."

"Maybe I'm starting to wonder about her expectations, that's all. She's in the marriage business."

"No, she's in the wedding business."

"Okay, good point. She's from a big family. A big, tight, apparently happy family. And while weddings and marriages are different things, one leads to the other. One of her best friends since childhood is getting married. You know how those four are, Del. They're like a fist. The fingers may wiggle individually, but they come out of the same hand. Just like you said you and Mal are in the field, from what I can tell so are Laurel and Parker. But Mac? That shifts things. Now one of my poker buddies is going to be talking wedding plans with them. That shifts things."

He gestured with his beer. "If I'm thinking about it, it's a sure bet she is."

"You could do something radical and have an actual conversation with her about it."

"If you have a conversation about it, it takes you a step closer."

"Or it takes you a step back. Which way do you want to head, Jack?"

"See, you're asking me." To emphasize the point, Jack shot a finger at Del. "She sure as hell will. What am I supposed to say?"

"Again, radical. How about the truth?"

"I don't know the truth." Okay, he thought, that's the source of the panic. "Why do you think I'm freaked out?"

"I guess you have to figure it out. You never answered the lead question. Are you in love with her?"

"How the hell does anybody know that? More, how do they know they're going to stay that way?"

"Guts, blind faith. You've got it or you don't. But