Bed of Roses Page 0,111

broken their heart so entrenched in their life that they had to see him over and over again? For how many was that person like a thread that was so woven into the tapestry of their every day that to pull it out meant everything else unraveled?

She didn't have the option of shutting Jack outside the structure of her life. Of not seeing him again, or only seeing him at specified times.

That was why office romances were so fraught with pitfalls, she decided. When they went bad, you had to face the pain every day. Nine to five, five days a week. Or you quit, you transferred, moved to another city. You escaped so you could heal and go on.

Not an option for her because . . .

Jamaica. Adele's offer.

Not just another office, another city, but another country. A completely fresh start. She could continue to do the work she loved, but be a new person. No complicated relationships, no interwoven ties. No Jack to face whenever he dropped by the house, or whenever they happened to be in the market at the same time. Invited to the same party.

No looks of sympathy from the scores of people who'd know she had those cracks on her heart. She could do good work. All those tropical flowers. A perpetual spring and summer. A little house on the beach, maybe, where she could listen to the waves every night. Alone.

She shifted when she heard the door ease open.

"I'm awake."

"Coffee." Parker crossed to the bed, offered the cup and saucer. "I brought it just in case."

"Thanks. Thanks, Parker."

"How about some breakfast?" Moving briskly now, Parker walked over to open the drapes, let in the light.

"Just not hungry."

"Okay." Parker sat on the side of the bed, brushed the hair back from Emma's cheek. "Did you sleep?"

"I did, actually. I guess it was an escape route, and I took it. I feel sort of musty and dull now. And stupid. I'm not suffering from some fatal disease. I don't have broken bones or internal bleeding. No one died, for God's sake. And I can't even talk myself into getting out of bed."

"It's been less than a day."

"You're going to tell me to give myself time. It'll get better."

"It will. Some people say divorce can be like death. I think that's true. And I think something like this, when the love is so big, so deep, it's the same." Parker's eyes, warm and blue, radiated sympathy.

"There has to be grief."

"Why can't I just be mad? Why can't I just be pissed off? The son of a bitch, the bastard, whatever. Can't I skip off the grief part and just hate him? We can all go out, get drunk, and trash him?"

"Not you, Emma. If I thought you could do it, if I thought it would help, we'd blow off the day, get drunk, and start the trashing right now."

"You would." Finding a smile, finally, Emma sat back against the pillows and studied her friend's face.

"You know what I was lying here in my ocean of self-pity thinking right before you came in?"

"What?"

"That I should take Adele's offer. I could go to Jamaica, relocate, help her launch her business. I'd be good at it. I know how to set it up, handle the reins. Or at least find the right people to handle the various reins. It would be a fresh start for me, and I could make it work. I could make it shine."

"You could." Rising, Parker walked to the window again, adjusted the curtains. "It's a big decision to make, especially when you're in emotional upheaval."

"I've been asking myself how, for God's sake, how can I deal with seeing Jack all the time? Here, in town, at events. He's invited to one of our events every month or so. We all know so many of the same people, our lives are so interlinked. Even when I get to the point where I can think about him, about us, without . . ."

She had to pause, dig for control. "Without wanting to cry, how can I handle all of that? I knew it could be this way, I knew it going in, but . . ."

"But." Parker nodded, turned back.

"So I was lying here imagining taking the offer, starting fresh, building something new. The beach, the weather, a new challenge to focus on. I considered it for about five minutes. No, probably closer to three. This is home, this is family, this is you, this is