someone knocks at the door, we hope to God it isn’t him. It’s the reason I lied to Layla, the reason I ruined everything that could have been between us. To go back on that now would make everything I did pointless. It would mean that I hurt Layla for nothing. She'd suffered enough. That day in the basement of Hummingbird Records, her pain finally ended. She was at peace, and I wasn’t going to talk to some stupid television show and fuck all of that up.
“Brady, I can’t hide from him forever. Sooner or later, he’s going to find out where I am. Mother isn’t stupid. She knows I’m here with you,” Gwen says softly.
“What the hell do you mean she knows you’re here? How does she know? Did she say something?” I fire at her angrily.
“No, of course not, calm down. You know how she is. I only talk to her from your secure phone line, but she always says little things like, ‘The next time you talk to your brother, tell him I said hello.’”
Resting my head in my hands on top of my desk, the worry that has consumed me since the day Gwen and Emma knocked on my door overwhelms me. I need to keep them safe. He can’t find out where they are. I won’t let him take them away from me or hurt them ever again.
I feel Gwen’s hand on my back, and I lift my head up to see her standing next to me looking stronger than I’ve ever seen her look.
“It’s time for me to do this the right way, Brady. I need to file for divorce. I can’t really start living my life until I’m free from him, and you can’t start living yours until you can stop worrying about me all the time,” she says softly.
I open my mouth to argue with her but she quickly stops me.
“I know why you said what you did to Layla the last day you saw her. I’m not stupid either. You’ve paid your dues, big Brother. You’ve more than made up for any wrong you think you might have done to me. I know you love Emma and me, and I know you would do whatever it takes to keep us safe, but you can’t hide from your own life to do that. Do you plan on spending the rest of your life turning down love out of some twisted sense of duty?” she asks.
Yes. Because the only person I will ever love is gone. None of that matters any more.
My chest physically hurts when I think about her. I have to rub away the pain that feels like heartburn only ten times worse when I think about our last moments together and the smile on her face when she told me she loved me, when she told me she tried to be strong like I taught her.
Even though I pushed her away, even though I was the one who put that first crack in her heart that day and the rest of the events that followed shattered it, she still loved me. She still lay dying in that basement hoping that I would come for her, believing in me.
Gwen leaves me alone to my thoughts as she grabs her purse from her desk drawer and leaves to go get some coffee.
I know everything she's said is right. I can’t keep her and Emma hidden away here forever. Even though that asshole hurt Gwen, he never laid a hand on Emma. He doted on that child, and he has to be going crazy not knowing where she is. It’s not like I give a fuck if he’s hurting, but Emma deserves to see her father. She still asks about him almost every day. It’s not right. None of this is right. Working my ass off day and night so I don’t have to think about how much I miss the touch of her lips, the smell of her skin, and the sound of her voice isn’t right. Forcing myself to go days without sleep because when I close my eyes all I see is Layla’s broken body in my arms and all I hear are the sounds of her gasping for breath is not right.
I miss her so fucking much I feel like if I didn’t have Gwen and Emma here with me, I would curl up in a ball and let myself wither away. Just let myself fade into nothing so