Because I Want To - Grace R. Duncan Page 0,49
Just for buying stuff, you know?”
Adam nodded. “Yeah, good point. Well… after I get stuck, I’d like to go for pizza. Maybe, uh, replace the last time we went?”
Matt leaned in and kissed Adam again, this time lingering a little. “I’d like that very much.”
Chapter 21
Matt was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the big red circle on the calendar. Despite telling himself there was no reason to be nervous, he couldn’t let go of the worry. He didn’t think anything would happen, but he wanted to be past that twelve-week mark as much as Adam did.
Moving had helped some of the time pass. That and the extra hours he’d been putting in at the bookstore. He knew Adam worried about whether or not it was too much, but aside from doing his best to assure Adam now and again, there wasn’t much he could do about that. He was happy that Adam hadn’t pushed the issue, and he hoped Adam had let it go, rather than internalize it, which couldn’t be good for the baby.
Even though he didn’t spend a whole lot of time at home—the one he now so happily shared with Adam—he couldn’t help but look forward to when he could be there. Something as simple as seeing his toothbrush in the cup with Adam’s, his razor on the counter next to Adam’s, his shampoo in the shower—it all filled him with so much hope for them.
He kept in mind how delicate that still was. Adam’s fears stayed very prominent in his mind—and, thus, in Matt’s—and that meant Adam could change his mind at any time. Matt did everything he could to show Adam how happy he was, how much he wanted to be there. There wasn’t a whole lot yet that he could do, but Matt was working on that, on showing Adam how serious he was about staying together because he wanted to be there, not because he had to. He’d had to give serious thought to how he could do that, but with Craig’s help, he’d finally figured some of it out.
It’d taken him longer than he wanted to get things done. It’d been even harder to keep it from Adam. But he wanted to offer everything he’d done at the same time. After it’d taken longer than he wanted to arrange part of his plan—thereby messing up his initial timeframe—he knew exactly when he should do it.
On the big red-circled day.
The countdown app on his phone said he had three days left. He only had one thing more to do, and he’d have done everything he could for it, but the end result was completely out of his control. As such, the thing he wanted—needed—to give Adam wasn’t yet there. And worse, he needed to intercept Adam for the mail to keep it a surprise. He would have asked Adam’s parents, but they didn’t get home until much later than Adam did, so there was no way for them to do it. It was up to Matt.
Those three days felt like they were taking forever to pass. Matt put in the hours at the bookstore, focused on taking their finals with Adam, and did what he could when the exhaustion of the first trimester sent Adam to bed. He didn’t wish for that, but he was glad for something he could do. The helplessness chafed because much of the time there really wasn’t much that would help—keep up with Adam’s nausea medication, put him to bed, that sort of thing. And it actually made him feel bad for getting Adam pregnant.
He, of course, kept that thought to himself.
The last thing he wanted to do was add to Adam’s worries or even hint that Matt was unhappy with anything. It would only feed into Adam’s fears, and everything Matt was working to put together would be for naught.
The one thing he’d been waiting on showed up with one day to spare. Matt thought he was going to have a heart attack. He knew it would get there, just hadn’t known when, and he’d been something of a basket case. He could have put it off, but once he’d picked the red-circled day, he had his heart set on doing it then. So, the evening he got the last piece, when Adam took his nap, he was finally able to put everything together. He even wrapped it in baby wrapping paper, though he guessed that was a little corny. Somehow, Matt couldn’t