Because I Want To - Grace R. Duncan Page 0,21

the stick and recapped it, he set it on the counter and left the bathroom. He set a timer on his phone and tried to ignore it. Despite telling himself he wasn’t nervous, though, he still made laps across his room as he waited for the timer to go off.

When it did, he swiped his thumb over the screen to shut it up, then went back to the bathroom. He couldn’t seem to make himself go any farther than the doorway. The stupid tester was on the counter less than three feet away. He knew what it would say, because he wasn’t pregnant, dammit.

Then why was he hesitating?

He scowled and marched across the bathroom to the counter and snatched up the test. But he couldn’t hold on to the irritation at himself. His heart went right back to beating so hard, he thought it would jump out of his chest. Taking a deep breath, he opened his hand.

Pregnant.

Well, shit. That was pretty damned straightforward. He didn’t have to interpret the number of lines or a plus sign or anything like that. No. Just pregnant.

The test could be false. They give false positives all the time.

He retrieved the other test from the box and followed the same process, surprised but grateful he could still pee. He even did the same pacing. But when the timer went off and he went in to check, the second test said the same thing.

Pregnant.

Adam frowned. It was entirely possible the whole box was bad. Maybe it’d been a bad batch?

So, telling himself that was likely, he retrieved the other test. While it was definitely more sophisticated, the actual process ended up being the same. This one, however, had a bigger digital readout, with a countdown and more information. According to the box, it was supposed to even be able to estimate how far along he was.

He ignored that for the moment and wondered if he could even pee again. Setting the test down, he went back to his room and forced himself to drink more water and wait. He also managed to eat a few pretzels—though the salt was probably bad if he was trying to pee—and was grateful when it seemed they were going to stay down.

In an attempt to distract himself from waiting, he turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Of course, nothing was on during the day except game shows, talk shows, news, and a few ancient reruns. He stopped on I Love Lucy and couldn’t resist a chuckle when Lucy tried to stuff her face full of chocolate.

Lucille Ball distracted him sufficiently long enough to need to pee again. Back in the bathroom, he took care of the same process, then covered the little pee-stick. This time he took it with him, since there was a timer on the display.

Still, he didn’t look at it more than… every few seconds. He was pretty sure he was going to go batshit until those two minutes counted down. But when it got to thirty seconds, he turned the display face down into his palm and couldn’t bring himself to look. Even after it beeped, he didn’t flip it back over.

Finally he plopped down on the side of his bed and, heart back to pounding, hands shaking slightly, he turned it over.

Pregnant. Approximately seventeen days.

Seventeen days. Adam knew exactly when it happened, could even remember the general time of day. There was no doubt when, exactly, he and Matt had conceived their child.

As the reality of it sank in, Adam struggled to breathe. He didn’t know how to feel about it. He was scared, no doubt. Terrified, in point of fact, especially of telling Matt, which he had to do as soon as possible. Worried about what he was going to do and how he was going to face it, about Matt’s reaction. Trapping his best friend, after all.

He swallowed at that thought, then tried to set the thought aside. It wasn’t the time for that yet. He’d face that after he figured out how the fuck to even feel about this. So many emotions went through him, but one was conspicuously absent.

Disappointment.

He couldn’t bring himself to be disappointed that he was pregnant with Matt’s baby.

Chapter 11

Matt got a surprise text from Adam just before their afternoon class. Adam hadn’t texted much since he got sick. Rather, he waited until Matt came home from classes and just talked then.

Need to talk to you as soon as you get home.

Matt wondered if