Beauty for Ashes Page 0,45
had access to his funds. In the meantime, all she could look forward to was life in a series of hotel rooms, their fortunes dependent on whatever job he could find to supplement his dwindling bank account. She deserved better that that. Much better.
Downstairs, he nodded to the room clerk and headed for the post office. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe his father was right and Griff was not the marrying kind.
“Carrie girl.”
Carrie stood still as death on the landing, staring down at Nate and Rosaleen. Above her, the ancient Provost sisters peered over the stair railing, each of them clutching a fan, cheeks bulging with dips of snuff. One of them rasped her name, but she had gone numb.
Mrs. Whitcomb hurried into the parlor, wiping her hands on her apron, her eyes hard as stones. “Rosaleen Dupree, where in the world have you been?”
Rosaleen laughed and tucked her hand into the crook of Nate’s arm. “I’ve been to Chicago. And it’s Mrs. Chastain now.”
“Good heavens. You’re married?”
Carrie sank onto the carpeted stair and wrapped her arms around her knees. The room swam before her eyes. Nate, married? To Rosaleen? It couldn’t be true. And yet there he was, blushing and laughing as his new wife teased him before turning her attention to Mrs. Whitcomb, regaling her with details of the train trip, the ceremony in the judge’s study, and their brief honeymoon stay at an elegant Chicago hotel.
Nate climbed the stairs and sat down beside Carrie, bringing with him the scents of cologne and whisky. He reached for her hand, but she pulled back as if the touch of his skin would burn her. How could he claim to have loved her and still be so careless of her feelings?
Humiliation, regret, and profound sadness overwhelmed her. Lately she had felt adrift in the world, with Nate as her only real tether. Now that tether had snapped. Yet who was to blame except her? If only she’d taken Ada’s advice and married Nate when she had the chance.
“I know you’re shocked,” Nate said, his voice low. “And I’m awfully sorry to break the news like this. I’d planned on being back here sooner, having some time to talk to you before we made our announcement. But we were delayed in Chicago and—”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“Yes, I do. Please try to see things from my side. Lord knows, I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the finest woman I’ve ever known. But I’ve wanted a wife and a home of my own for the longest time, and it seemed like you weren’t ever going to be ready.”
She traced the dark floral pattern on the carpet with her fingers. She had been ready to name a date, but what good would it do to tell him now? She studied his face, so dear to her and, at the same time, unknowable. She would have wagered her very life on his affection for her, but in the end he hadn’t loved her enough to wait until she was sure.
“Carrie?” Nate’s expression was a mixture of sadness and uncertainty. “Say something.”
“I’m . . . stunned. I thought you loved me. I never dreamed you could change your allegiance so easily.”
He blushed. “It caught me by surprise too.”
Mrs. Whitcomb and Rosaleen headed for the kitchen. For several long minutes Carrie sat beside Nate, listening to the street sounds and the tapping of a tree branch against the parlor windows. Now that reality was slowly sinking in, she felt oddly calm and resigned. Maybe God had another plan in mind for her, one that didn’t include a husband and a home. Just last week Reverend Patterson’s sermon had been about surrendering to God’s will. His way was surely the best. And yet, she was a flawed mortal who wanted what she wanted. And what she wanted always seemed to lie just beyond her reach.
Nate cleared his throat. “You’re a fine woman, Carrie. But Rosaleen came along, and we got on so well together that it just seemed like it was meant to be, and . . .”
She laid a hand gently on his arm. “Congratulations, Nate. I truly hope you’ll be happy. You deserve it.”
“You’re not angry with me?”
“I suppose I can’t blame you for giving up on me.” She managed a wan smile. “I’m confused. About a lot of things. But I’m not angry with you. What good would it do?”
He relaxed then. “I’m glad.”
“I am surprised that you went all the