The Beautiful Widow - By Helen Brooks Page 0,65
another woman because it’s never been true before. I love you. Completely, utterly, for ever. I need you, I want you and I love you. I don’t want any other woman but you and I never will, but I can’t prove that to you except through time so you’ll have to take it on trust.’
She was ashen-faced. He could have been delivering a death sentence, the way she was looking at him. ‘And—and if I can’t?’
‘I can help you.’
‘Help me?’ Toni said wildly, her still façade suddenly shattering. ‘How can you help me when you’re the one person who could destroy me?’
He stared at her. As a declaration of love it left a lot to be desired, but no words ever sounded sweeter. She loved him. All the agony of the last weeks had been worth it just for this moment. ‘But I won’t.’ He reached out and pulled her into his arms and was amazed when she didn’t fight him. ‘I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you, have a dozen kids, two dozen. I love you, I love you, I love you,’ he said over and over again, wondering why he’d thought the words so impossible to say. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I should have. I’m a coward, that’s the truth of it. I thought I was showing you but I should have said.’
‘Steel, don’t. Please don’t.’
‘Marry me, Toni. Live with me. Love me. Let me love you, and the girls. Make us a family.’
‘I can’t.’ She was sobbing but she still hadn’t tried to move out of his arms. ‘I can’t, don’t you see?’
‘You can. If you love me, we can do this. Do you love me, Toni? Do you? Tell me?’
‘I do love you,’ she whispered, her voice breaking. ‘That’s what scares me. I’m so ordinary—’
‘Never say that.’ He covered her mouth in a hungry kiss, crushing her against his chest. ‘You’re beautiful, my pearl beyond price.’ In seconds they were lost to the world, straining into each other with an urgency made all the more desperate for their estrangement of the last weeks.
When Steel finally broke off the kiss it was to lift her up in his arms and sit with her on his lap on the sofa. ‘Listen to me, my love,’ he said shakily. ‘You must try to understand. I can’t stop the Barbaras of the world behaving the way they do, but they can’t touch us unless you let them. I’m yours, body, soul and spirit and I promise you this day you are enough for me until forever and beyond. I will never give you cause to doubt me, never. You are my sun, moon and stars and I want you as my wife and the mother of my children. And I will teach you to trust, believe me. Until the last shadow of doubt in yourself is gone. When you see yourself as I see you, you will have no need to fear. I want you in sickness and in health, now and in old age. I’ll push you in your Bath chair if you’ll push me in mine.’
He kissed her again, crushing her willing lips under his, deepening the kiss until finally he sighed, a long desperate sound as he muttered, ‘I’ve been going insane, quietly insane.’
‘Oh, Steel. I’ve been so unhappy,’ she cried softly. ‘I’ve wanted you so much but I’ve been so frightened.’
‘No more, my love. No more. I need you every bit as much as you need me. I can’t live without you.’
She nuzzled her face into his throat. ‘I’ve missed you so much. And I thought you didn’t want me any more.’
He pulled back a little, looking into her flushed face. ‘Do you want a big wedding?’ he asked thickly.
‘A big wedding?’ She stared at him, surprised. ‘No, no, I don’t think so. I did all that before and it was almost impersonal. But—but we’ve plenty of time before—’
‘Good, because I want to marry you soon, next week even. Would you do that? We can get the girls pretty dresses and have your parents and Annie and Jeff, Maggie too.’
‘Next week? Can you do that? There’s so much red tape.’
‘I can do it,’ he said firmly. ‘Money was made to do away with red tape. I want you, Toni. In my bed, as my wife. I want it to be right from the start. No hole-in-the-wall affair. I’ve had enough