Beautiful Pain - J.M. Walker Page 0,31

he say if I told him you raped me?”

“That’s…that’s not true.”

A pale hand fluttered to a slender throat, the chin quivering. “Sir…it was awful…Matteo was furious and lost control.” She sniffed. “I couldn’t stop him.” An evil sneer spread on her face. “I’m a woman. If he doesn’t believe me, the cops sure will.”

My memory faded to black, sending a cold shiver of fear racing down my spine.

Her.

Because of her I was forced to submit. Because of her I was forced to give into the cravings I tried so hard to ignore.

“I’ve watched you grow into this beautiful young man, Matteo. I see the way you look at me.” A pink tongue swiped over ruby red lips.

She was lying. Always lying.

I didn’t want her. I never did. But she had men on her side. Working for her. Working with her. Forcing me to my knees. Making me beg like a dog. Inflicting pain on my body until I passed out from the sheer agony of it.

I craved the sting of the whip against my skin. I needed it.

“Mae,” I ground out through clenched teeth. I had been helping people for years. Listening to their problems. Soaking them up like a fucking sponge. But who would listen to me?

Marketa.

Yeah. Fucking. Right.

Before I could stop myself, I sent her a text.

Me: I saw you leave. I watched your beautiful body leave my bedroom.

Send.

Fuck. Me.

I reread the text. Desperation poured out of those words. I needed her in ways I couldn’t begin to understand.

Ten minutes later and still no reply.

Twenty minutes and I knew she was ignoring me. Her phone was glued to her hip, so I knew she chose not to reply.

Trudging into the bathroom, I turned on the shower. Letting the hot water wash over me, I prayed with everything in me that God would take away the nightmares. That he would give me light in the darkness that consumed me.

Marketa came into my life at a time where I needed something else. Where I needed one person and one person only.

“Submit to me, little boy.”

Shit. My body heated, a raging inferno spread through my being to the point it threatened to take over. Falling to my knees, I leaned my weight on my knuckles. My stomach churned.

“Fuck his tight little ass. Show him who he truly belongs to.”

Bile rose to my throat.

“Fuck him. Now!”

I cried out, remembering the pain searing through my trembling broken body. Agony twisted at my gut. Cold fingers of fear gripped at my spine.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t take this anymore.

The thoughts, memories, the fucking nightmares had been coming on strong lately and I didn’t know how to stop them.

Turning off the shower, I left the bathroom. Goosebumps spread on my skin like a second layer as the brisk air washed over me.

Checking my phone, I saw that Mae had finally called and left a message.

“Hello, Matteo. I’m…I don’t know what to say but after getting your text, I found that I needed to call you. I…you’re probably mad and I don’t blame you.” Her breath caught. “I’m sorry for leaving but I couldn’t face you.”

What the fuck did that mean?

“You opened up something inside of me. I shouldn’t be saying this to your answering machine. Anyways, I am sorry and I hope to see you soon.” The message ended and I replayed it. Over and over, I listened to her words. I memorized them, keeping them in my mind.

I opened up something inside of her. Well she unleashed this…this animal inside of me. This savage beast wanted to mark her. That wanted to claim her until everyone knew she was mine.

And that scared the ever living shit out of me.

Mae

After leaving Matteo that message, embarrassment had settled in and I wished I could take back my words. But when I read his text over and over, I could almost hear his anger. Rage seeped from the words. I wanted to go back to him. I wanted to spend every chance with him. But something switched between us. A darkness brewed, shadowing through this connection we had.

“Doing the walk of shame are we?” Nika teased when I walked into our apartment.

I threw my bag on the ground but didn’t respond. There was no shame in what I had done.

“Are you okay?” Nika handed me a cup of coffee, her brows furrowing.

“No,” I mumbled, taking a sip of the steaming deliciousness.

“Talk to me.” She hooked her arm in mine, leading me to the couch.

“I spent the night with

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