Now, walk me around the pool, while I lay my cheek on your shoulder and tell you about the time I went batshit psycho on my cheating ex.”
“I can’t wait to hear the story.”
I begin walking a loop around the shallow end of my pool, as Georgina tells me about the time she awakened one fateful morning and discovered a string of texts and photos on her then-boyfriend’s phone that confirmed her long-simmering suspicions: he was cheating on her like she didn’t exist.
“Actually,” she says, “confirming Shawn was cheating on me was a huge relief. Twice before that morning, I’d told Shawn he was acting really weird and suspicious and secretive, but both times he said I was crazy and paranoid. So, I was kind of thrilled in a weird way to finally know I wasn’t insane—that he was cheating on me. And not just cheating on me. The dude had four side chicks.”
“Four? Oh my God. No wonder you went batshit psycho on him.”
“Right? Who could blame me!”
“So, what’d you do to the guy?”
She laughs. “I’m scared to tell you. I don’t want you to be scared of me and send me packing.”
Oh, God. She’s so fucking adorable. “No worries about that. Your invitation to stay here for the whole summer is irrevocable.”
She lifts her cheek from my shoulder and beams a radiant smile at me.
“Come on baby,” I coo. “A little psycho won’t scare me off. To be honest, I get turned on by a little bit of crazy. It keeps things from getting boring for me.”
“Yeah, well, this wasn’t a little bit of crazy, sweetie. It was a shit-ton of batshit psycho.”
I wince. “Okay, I admit you’re starting to scare me a tiny bit.”
She giggles uproariously. “One more glass of champagne and then I’ll tell you everything,” she says with gusto, clearly savoring the fact that I’m on the edge of my proverbial seat, waiting to hear this story from her.
But, of course, since her wish is my command, I carry her to the ledge, where I fill our empty flutes from a bottle of Cristal we brought down to the pool with us.
“Aah, that’s good,” she says after taking a long sip. “Best champagne I’ve ever had.”
“I should hope so. This stuff ain’t cheap. It’s liquid gold. Now, come on. Tell me what you did to the guy. No more stalling. I know you’re enjoying torturing me. But enough is enough.”
She looks at me flirtatiously. “Okay, but in my defense, keep in mind that my dad was in treatment at this point. So I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown, as it was. And, like I said, I was more enraged at the betrayal of my trust, in my time of need, than about the cheating itself.”
“Just tell me the story already. I’ll consider all mitigating factors once I know the extent of your batshit psychosis.”
She returns her empty flute to the ledge and leans her shoulder against the side of the pool. We’re both standing now. Facing each other. Her hair is wet and slicked back. Her breasts just above the water line. And I can honestly say whatever’s about to come out of her mouth won’t scare me off in the slightest.
“Okay, so, I saw all those texts on Shawn’s phone while he was taking a shower, and I—”
“Hold up. Sorry. How, exactly, did you see those texts and photos? Wasn’t Shawn’s phone passcode protected? If not, he’s the world’s stupidest serial cheater.”
Georgina snickers. “Yeah, he had it passcode protected. And, trust me, he never punched in the code at an angle where I could peek over his shoulder. But where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
“Oh, shit. His passcode was all zeroes, wasn’t it? Or something like 1-2-3-4?”
She giggles. “Nope. It wasn’t an obvious code. I’m just a brilliant, devious hacker.”
I pause to let her elaborate, and when she doesn’t I say, “Come on. Give it up. What’d you do?”
She giggles happily, sounding very much like a woman with an abundance of beer, tequila, and champagne in her bloodstream. “If I tell you, then I won’t be able to hack into your phone, when you start acting weird and suspicious on me.”
Oh, Georgie. I put my palms on her cheeks and her lips part in surprise.
“Sweetheart, I’m a lot of things, some of them not so admirable, but a cheater isn’t one of them. I promise.”
She swoons in my palms, so I lean down and kiss her bee-stung lips. And, for