A Beautiful Forever - By Anderson, Lilliana Page 0,86
pauses, looking around quietly.
I move about the kitchen preparing some tea and sandwiches. I don’t drink coffee at the moment, and since it’s usually only me or my mother and Daniel, tea is all I have.
When I walk out holding the tray, he looks up at me, a framed photo of he and I together in his hand.
“Is it strange that I have them up?” I ask him as he places the frame back on the bookcase and moves quickly to take the tray from my hands.
Shaking his head he says, “You should have seen the wall in my bedroom while I was home. I had this whole collage thing going on.” Giving me a sad smile, he carries the tray over to the coffee table in front of the couch and sets it down.
He clears his throat, “This is all very English of you,” he points out, as we sit next to each other on the couch. I laugh a little through my nose and take a sip of tea, enjoying the warmth of the liquid as it slides down my throat. I don’t know what to say, I finally have him here with me, and I’m really not sure how to act. I want everything to be exactly how it was before. I want to touch him, kiss him, be with him. But instead I’m sitting here, sipping tea.
“When were you going to tell me Paige?”
I place my mug back on the tray and turn towards him, meeting his eyes. “Soon, Elliot, I was going to tell you soon.”
“How soon? Tomorrow? When the baby was born? When it was 20 and came looking for me? When?”
“Elliot, I understand that you’re upset with me, I haven’t handled things very well between us at all. But please understand that I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come back to me. If you were going to do it - I wanted you to do it on your own. I was going to tell you very soon, I was just… waiting, I guess.”
“So you were testing me?” he asks.
“No… I don’t know. I just needed to know that you weren’t with me solely for the sake of the baby, I needed to know that if you came back it was because it was me you wanted. I didn’t want to trap you.”
“Why wouldn’t you at least talk to me? You’ve shut me out for months Paige.”
“I wanted to Elliot. I wanted to talk to you; I even went to see you at the airport before you left – but I was too late. After that, I spoke to you once, but you were drunk – do you remember that? You yelled at me, told me that you were coming back, and that I had to deal with it, then you hung up on me.”
He frowned, looking slightly confused, “I don’t remember that part,” he says, “I remember calling you. I remember you saying you loved me, but I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“No Elliot, I deserved to be yelled at, but after that, I thought that I should give you time away from me, to sort out how you really feel. When we’re together, for me - it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t even exist, I can ignore all the shit in my life – pretend it’s not even there, and it’s wonderful.” I rub my hands over my face, “God, I’m not explaining myself very well – I… I didn’t contact you because you’re all I can think about, and I needed to deal with my own crap for a little while… I’m sorry… I’m just really sorry it’s all played out like this.”
“Paige. I want to make something very clear right now – I love you, I came back for you. I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you; do you understand that?”
“Elliot I – “
“Don’t, I’m not finished Paige. I need you to understand that I am with you no matter what. I need you to stop making decisions for me. I need you to let me in- to trust me. I have chosen you Paige, you – and nothing is going to change my mind. The fact that we have made a baby together blows my mind. I am angry with you because if you had trusted me in the first place, we would have gone through this entire pregnancy together, but as it is, I