The Beast (Black Dagger Brotherhood #14) - J. R. Ward Page 0,120

in the air between him and Jane.

You ever think about having kids?

As his mate went really still and very quiet, he cursed under his breath—but that was not the kind of inquiry you could take back. Even if there was a half-dead enemy lying on a gurney between the pair of you.

And the two of you were, like, surrounded by a thousand hearts in jars.

And it was in the middle of a worknight for both parties.

Holy shit, had that really come out of his mouth.

Oh, and P.S., he was so hitting Rhage again when he saw the brother next. Even though this wasn’t technically Hollywood’s fault. All the guy had done was pose the question because, clearly, it was something on his own mind.

V was still gonna punch him, though.

“Wow,” Jane said slowly. She rubbed her nose and tucked her blond hair back. “That’s a surprise.”

“Look, forget I ever said anything—”

“No, I won’t. And are you asking because you want them or because you want to know what I think?”

“I want to know what you think.”

And yeah, it was maybe weird that it hadn’t come up before now, but it had been clear Jane couldn’t have any, biologically speaking, when they’d commited to each other, and a lot of shit had been going on since then.

“Well, how do you feel?” she said.

“I asked you first.”

“Is this a game of chicken? Or an intimate conversation?”

They both fell silent. And then at the same time they said, in exactly the same tone:

“It’s not a priority for me.”

“It’s not a priority for me.”

As V laughed, Jane did, too, and he got the impression that as the tension flowed out of his body, something similar was happening for her, her stance loosening, her exhale one of relief.

“Look,” V said, “L.W. and Nalla are cute and all. But I’m interested in them because they’re a part of Wrath’s and Z’s lives, not because I want something like that for us. Unless, you know, it became a big deal for you.”

“Well, I can’t have kids. I mean, I’m technically dead.” She rolled her eyes. “Can I just tell you, every once in a while, when I say something like that, I get existential whiplash? Like, how the hell did this become my life—not that it isn’t a miracle or anything. But jeez.”

“And you’re mated to a demi-god.”

“Did you just promote yourself?”

“Maybe. Can you blame me?” As she laughed, exactly as he’d intended her to, V got serious again. “Adoption is difficult in the vampire race, but it can be an option.”

“True. Very true.” Jane shrugged. “But you know, I was never one of those women who planned out her wedding or saw rainbow mobiles over the cribs of babies. Not that I’ve seen many babies in cribs.” She frowned. “Holy crap. I’ve actually … I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby sleeping in a crib.”

“And you’re not a freak because of that. I can tell what you’re thinking.”

“Yeah.” She rubbed the back of her neck. Then shook herself as if clearing away thoughts that she refused to buy into. “I mean, of course, I’m not. Just because women can be mothers doesn’t mean they have to be.”

V had to smile a little. But then he shook his head. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us. And actually, I hate that I just felt the need to say that.”

“Compatibility is the issue. If one of us wanted them and the other didn’t? Then that’s a problem.”

Jane came over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. And it was funny: Ordinarily he couldn’t stand people getting very close to him. Not because of some kind of horrific abuse—although his father’s partial castration of him hadn’t been a party, granted—but because tons of contact and closeness was just too much sensation for his brain to process.

With Jane, though, he never felt crowded.

Same with Butch.

Maybe because the two of them seemed to understand the overload thing with him.

“You look worried,” she said as she brushed his hair back and traced the tattoos at his temple with her forefinger.

“I don’t want anything to come between us. Ever.”

“That’s up to you and me, though, right? So why be anxious?”

“Rhage and Mary have been going through a time.”

“Over having babies? Are they okay now?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Good.” She leaned her head to one side. “And as for you and me? We can’t predict the future. No one can. So we talk and we sort things out and we keep