boy. It’s pathetic on a man. It’s a joke. You made the joke, but I am the joke. I’m the walking, talking joke of the parish.”
“No, you’re not.” Except wasn’t that why she’d stayed away from him in the first place? She had never once considered that he thought of himself as a joke. “I think every man in town would like to be you. You get all the ladies.”
He stopped the truck at a red light and turned her way. “What is that supposed to mean? Are you talking about the fact that I can get a woman to dance with me? Hell, honey, I’m at bars most nights. Of course the women there want to dance. Not one of them wants to do anything more than have a good time. That’s what I am. I’m a good time. I’m stress relief. I’m not the guy you call when you need to talk. I’m the guy you get in bed with and forget about the next day.”
“I didn’t forget about you.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree about that.” The light had changed and he sighed as he started to drive again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t view you as stress relief.” She’d never considered the fact that the reason Zep didn’t date was anything but preference. It hadn’t been hard to think about him preferring quick hookups to taking women out. She’d heard the stories of love-’em-and-leave-’em Guidry, but not once had she asked herself if they were true. She’d listened to every rumor about Zep without considering that he might be different, that there might be a private side to the man.
Had she viewed him the same way everyone did? As a gorgeous face with no real soul behind it?
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said quietly.
“I suspect I’ll survive.”
“Hey, I’m trying here, Zep. I’m sorry I hurt you. I hope that you can accept my apology. I don’t know what your brother said, but I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
A long moment passed. “I accept your apology and you’re welcome. Remy just told me we weren’t on the same page. He said you probably weren’t thinking long term when it came to me, and he knew that I was definitely considering it.”
The words floored her. He was thinking about them in some kind of long-term relationship? In a relationship at all? “You want me to be your girlfriend?”
He was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to say it like it’s an insane idea.”
“You don’t have girlfriends.”
“Yes, I believe I pointed that out.”
She was so confused. “You could get a girlfriend if you wanted one. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes.”
“You would be surprised. Most women around here don’t view me as anything they would want to bring home to their mommas. And yes, it might be because in my youth I slept with a bunch of their mommas, but I’ve changed over the last couple of years. I’m not the same man I was.”
“You slept with their mothers?” She shouldn’t be shocked but there it was.
“I didn’t discriminate when I was younger,” Zep admitted. “A beautiful woman was a beautiful woman. I know I sound like an idiot. I know I deserve the reputation I got, but I’ve grown up in the last couple of years. I’ve had to. Sera . . . well, Sera needed a lot of help in the beginning. She needed me and Momma. And then we had to take care of Luc. I took a bunch of odd jobs because we needed the money, but someone needed to watch after Luc, too. Sera was trying to find stable work. She tried out a lot of stuff. I had to back her up so that meant being flexible. Also, there’s not a lot to do around here unless you want to work on a rig.”
And then he would have been gone for months at a time. Had his choices not been as selfish as everyone suspected? She knew his sister had been through a lot of jobs. But she hadn’t thought about Zep doing more than the occasional babysitting gig. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you like a joke, but you’re right. I’m not thinking long term. Staying here long term was never in my plans. I know everyone thinks I came down here because of what happened to my partner, but that’s not the truth. I will miss Ben every day, but he’s not the reason I left